Here at WTF, we value honest conversations about motherhood. When you’re a mom, you have no time for bullshit. 

Since we’re all about getting candid with moms, so we sat down with Kassi Bacquet and asked her some questions about her life, who her mom crushes are, and if sex gets better with age. Read our interview with this badass mom!

1. How is actually being a mom different from what you once imagined it?

As a young girl, I never imagined being a mom until I was in my mid-twenties or early thirties… but that wasn’t to be the case. Getting pregnant at sixteen years old was not planned (obviously) but the greatest blessing. My oldest, Tyler, who’s eighteen now, changed my life for the better. Fast forward seven years from his birth to when I had my second child, Tannyn, and man, that was hard. I had forgotten about the sleepless nights, the non-stop crying and with Tyler I never had to deal with a husband who was made cranky by it all. It was rough! By the time I had my third, Tayli, at twenty-seven years old, I felt like I had it down. Five years later and having the twins, Tavvi and Trax, at thirty-two, has probably been the most difficult. Not just because there were two babies to take care of, but because I was older now and less resilient to the lack of sleep and all the crying. Not to mention the diagnosis of one of my twins having the genetic disease, Cystic Fibrosis. None of being a mom is what I imagined… other than all the love I receive and all the love I give. Who knew you could love five little people more than life itself?!

2. Do you find yourself doing things and thinking, “Oh my god. I’m my mother.” If so, how does that make you feel?

I actually don’t think that. My mom seemed to have it way more together than I ever have. I mean, she used to put us to sleep singing Puff the Magic Dragon while playing her guitar in our doorway at night, was up before us all with lunches made and probably breakfast too… I’m so lazy by comparison! I put my kids to sleep with a prayer and a few pats on the butt and I’m usually up after my oldest girls are up and already dressed for school. Geez, that makes me sound wonderful doesn’t it? There are a lot of similarities between my mom and I, but not many in how we parent other than raising them with the same morales and values that she raised us with.

3. How has your own childhood shaped how you parent?

My parents are divorced and got divorced when I was six. My mom being the one who was very consistent and somewhat strict, my dad being the total and complete opposite…completely laid back with very few rules and no set bedtime. I feel that I parent right there somewhere in the middle which I feel is a pretty good place to be. Both my parents are wonderful in totally different ways.

4. Do you ever find yourself suffering from “mom guilt?” If so, what is something that makes you feel guilty as a mom that you didn’t feel guilty about before?

I feel mom guilt all the time. The twins (who are three now) take up all my time and have for the last three years. I feel that I fail my oldest daughters all the time – they rarely get the attention they want/need from me so I try to make it a point to do dates with them as often as I can/we can afford it. During that time I really do my best to be attentive and present. I often feel mom guilt when it comes to taking care of my son, Trax, who has Cystic Fibrosis. He needs two treatments a day which consists of chest physical therapy and airway clearance treatments. Sometimes I only get one in a day and I feel like the worst parent when that happens.

5. How do you deal when your kid says something embarrassing in public to a stranger? Like, “You’re ugly” to a stranger?

Oh gosh, kids say the darndest things, right? Ha. So far, thankfully, I have not had to deal with that…. I would probably turn bright red and apologize to whomever was at the end of it and then have a talk with whichever kid did/said something. It may have happened with my older three, but honestly, I have the worst mom brain and sadly can’t remember much pre-twins. It’s awful.

6. Who are 3 of your mom crushes?

Hmmmm I have new ones all the time and so many. There are a few moms who have a gazillion children and homeschool or work full time and seem to do it all… I really admire women like that. I also have some crushes on some single moms who are such an inspiration to me. My sister is a mom crush for sure. She decorates her home beautifully, has four kids, has dealt with losses and is one of the best moms I know. Plus, her kids are well behaved.

7. Is it hard to not compare yourself to other moms? How do you combat that?

You know, I used to, but now that I’m nearing my late thirties, I don’t any more. I’m so comfortable with who I am. There are some things I need to work on but I don’t compare. Comparison is the thief of joy so I don’t really ever go there.

8. What is the biggest lie you think society feeds us about motherhood? And what is actually the truth?

Gosh, I feel there are so many lies out there that society feeds us… that you’re a failure if you don’t breastfeed or breastfeed long enough or that you breastfeed too long. That co-sleeping is best or letting your baby cry it out it is best…everything we’re fed through media is a big contradiction. Moms shouldn’t compare themselves, shouldn’t judge others for not “doing it their way”… we’re all in this thing together. Each mom has her own story to tell and her own way of telling it. We all are doing our very best and none of us are really doing it better than the other. One thing I’ve learned is that it’s ok to ask for help and it really does take a village. I’m thankful I have and have had a great village!

9. Do you think sex gets better with age?

I really want to answer this with a big fat YES but ask me again when I don’t have toddlers in my bed. Two three year olds up constantly throughout the night can really put a damper on the sex life.

10. What’s one thing you like to do to get you out of a funk/depression/bad mood?

I need time alone to get out of my funk-zone. Whether thats reading my Bible, praying, playing a game on my phone, reading a book or sitting outside with a cup of coffee… working out, just taking a shower alone, whatever it is, as long as I’m alone, it helps.

11. What’s the first curse word you inadvertently taught your kid?

Oh man, I’m not sure. I remember my first daughter, Tannyn, saying the F word when she was little. She may or may not have heard from me… I doubt it was from me but you who knows. I think the curse word I use the most is probably damn. I don’t cuss much at all but when I do it’s usually saying something along the lines of “go clean your damn room!” It takes a lot for me to cuss though.

Who The Flicka? is an ongoing series where we spotlight our amazing contributors and make them answer our questions.

Elena Drake is one of our newest contributors and author of the WTF series, “This is 30“.  Her latest hilarious posts have included “Sometimes My Kid Says Inappropriate Things and I Laugh Instead of Reprimand” and “This is 30: Tinder“.

Tell us about yourself. Where are you from? What do you do?

My name is Elena. I’m 30 years old. I’m a daughter, sister, mother and friend. I work for a company that manages digital properties (websites and social media) for celebrities and production companies.

How many kids do you have?

I have 5 amazing, beautiful children. We just kicked off “birthday season” which is when 4 of them have birthdays in a 2 month span and I can’t remember how old any of them are when people ask me.

Most embarrassing moment?

I do laundry ALL THE TIME. I’m literally in a constant state of washing, drying, folding and putting away laundry. So one day when I was cleaning out kid #4’s backpack after school I found a sandwich baggie with a pair of my panties in it. Enclosed was a note saying “these were stuck to the lining of kid #4’s jacket”. Static cling is not my friend.

If you could trade places with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

Beyonce. Because, duh.

What is your favorite four letter word?

It’s a tie between f*ck and cake.

Who The Flicka? is an ongoing series where we spotlight our amazing contributors and make them answer our questions.

This week’s featured contributor is Elise Free, author of posts like “Why Amy Schumer Is A Role Model For My Daughter” and “I Never Have To Get Married Again – Woo Hoo!

Where are you from?

I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa and decided at a very young age that it was not a cool place to live. So the day I graduated from college, I hit the road with my cat and my very stylish 1985 Honda Accord for California! I was going to make it big in Hollywood as a writer for television. My first night in L.A., my Honda was stolen. Fortunately my cat was not in it. I learned quickly that L.A. was nothing like the Norman Rockwell existence I had lived until this point. My first clue was my neighbors, Pete and Tilly: porn stars who stopped by one day to borrow a turkey baster. This is common occurrence in Iowa, a neighbor borrowing a cup of sugar, or pie pan. But I told Pete and Tilly that since it was not Thanksgiving, they could just keep that turkey baster. My other neighbor was a Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike heroin dealer and addict who slept more in the hallway than in his apartment. Despite my strange welcome, I stayed in L.A. for sixteen years, had a kiddo, and did not make it big in hollywood. But I did survive a drive-by shooting. So that’s something! Last year, with kid and another cat in tow, I made the trek back to the homeland for fresh air, zero traffic, family love and mosquitos the size of minivans. And while I was away, Iowa became a very cool place to live. Either that or I’m old.

What do you do?

I’m a mom, so I wander the house most of the day picking things up and putting them away so that when my daughter gets home from school, she can immediately get them out again to ensure I’ll have something to do tomorrow. She’s so thoughtful! But when I’m not fighting the Sisyphean task of parenthood, I’m a personal assistant to a television director. He directs NCIS, which I hear is a good show. I wouldn’t know because I’m too busy picking up beanie babies and organizing lego sets to watch TV. Oh, and I just finished a screenplay and cleaned the bathroom.

Do you have kids? How many? (tell us a little about them)

I have a ten year old daughter, Adelaide. She’s a spitfire and the love of my life. She has Cystic Fibrosis, which is a genetic disease that affects the respiratory and digestive systems. We work hard to keep her healthy with daily treatments and lots of meds. She is incredibly healthy and kicking CF butt! She also has a fantastic sense of humor and is as smart as a whip! Not that I’m biased.

Most embarrassing moment?

I pooped my pants. That’s all you need to know. Pooped. My. Pants.

If you could trade places with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

This is not a specific person, but someone who lives a very specific life. She lives in Tahiti and gets massages for a living. Not gives–gets massages for a living.

What is your favorite four letter word?

Well gosh, I never swear. Okay, okay, it’s not four letters, but it’s a good one. My favorite descriptive word for bad drivers, health insurance costumer service reps, and politicians is douche bag. It starts out soft, sounds almost like a compliment in French, but then ends with that hard G! Douche bag.

Who The Flicka? is an ongoing series where we spotlight our amazing contributors and make them answer our questions.

Marie Bollman is the author of WTF posts like “10 Reasons Being in Your Mid Thirties is Fabulous” and “Is Comparison The Thief of Your Joy Too?

Tell us about yourself. Where are you from? What do you do?

I’m a SAHM mom (aka: Queen of the Castle) from Minnesota. I’m a wife to a work-travelling husband, a former Special Ed. teacher, a dance mom, football mom and basketball mom, a blogger, contributing author in The Mother of All Meltdowns, quite possibly the world’s worst cook, a wannabe runner and a CNN junkie. I’m convinced that raising a 10 year old is harder than having a newborn. Right now I’m stressing over what happens to my life after our youngest goes to kindergarten next year. I spend every day just muddling my way through motherhood. You can read about my (mis)adventures on my blog, Make Your Own Damn Dinner.

How many kids do you have?

We have two boys and a girl, ages 10, 7, and 5. My boys are constantly crashing around, and my girl is girly to the max! We have a pretty great balance. Life is a whirlwind right now. But I love it!

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Most embarrassing moment?

In middle school I was sitting in a desk behind a boy I had a mega-crush on. I was resting my head in my arms on the desktop. When he turned around to talk to me I sprang up with a huge smile on my face, only to realize that my braces had gotten caught on the sleeve my sweater. There was a huge string unraveling from my arm all the way up to my mouth. And it took me a decade to get it untangled. My mega-crush totally made fun of me, and I wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Middle school is the worst!!!

If you could trade places with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

No question…Kate Middleton. I would love to experience what it’s like to be that degree of perfect! The clothes, the jewels, the beauty, the husband, the money, the accent. All of it! I’d love to experience all of it. I’m kind of obsessed with the British Royals. I truly believe I was meant to be one of them. (What the hell happened?!?)

What is your favorite four letter word?

That’s like asking me to chose my favorite child! Well, I have HAVE to narrow it down….Shitty. (That’s 6 letters. Oh well.) When I’m mad I love describing everything as ‘shitty.’ Being a contributor on WTF has definitely NOT been shitty!

Who The Flicka? is an ongoing series where we spotlight our amazing contributors and make them answer our questions.

This week’s featured contributor is Ashlen “The Kidspert” Sheaffer, author of posts like “My 3-Year Old Daughter Took Me Down With A Single, Sassy Remark” and “Motherhood: On Social Media vs Real Life.”

Where are you from?

Born, raised, and still living in the heart of the midwest Des Moines, Iowa

What do you do?

I’m an in-home daycare provider, blogger, website owner, and children’s book author. I wear many hats throughout the day.

Do you have kids? Tell us about them.

I have 3 kids (affectionately referred to as minis) ages 7, 5, and 3. Two boys and a girl and not one of them even remotely like the other. It makes for some fairly interesting/crazy days.

How do you juggle?

It’s not difficult when you truly love what you do. I’m lucky enough to have some excellent sidekicks, coffee to keep me going, and margaritas when things get tough.

Most embarrassing moment?

It actually just happened! I was seeking refuge at Target after a long day and the aisles were crowded with, what I can only assume, other moms needing a break. When I knelt down to look at an item, my ass caught on something behind me and ripped a hole in one of the butt cheeks of my leggings. Since I no longer have any shame, I tried to pull my shirt down as low as it would go and kept shopping….with a giant hole exposing my ass. Oh yeah, and I wasn’t wearing underwear. Thankfully I didn’t run into anyone that I knew and no one seemed to notice. Either that or they were too embarrassed for me.

If you could trade places with anyone in the world for day, who would it be?

No one. I’m pretty content with my life.

What is your favorite four letter word?

Naps. The greatest thing ever invented.

Who The Flicka? is an ongoing series where we spotlight our amazing contributors and make them answer our questions.

This week’s featured contributor is Jenny Kanevsky, author of posts like “Good Enough Mom” and “Women And The Power Of Talk.”

Where are you from?

I am from Philadelphia, have lived in Florence, Italy, Madison, WI, Seattle WA and now live in Austin, TX.

What do you do?

I am a writer, editor, and SAHM.

Do you have kids? How many? (tell us a little about them).

I have two boys ages 13 and 10. They are great. The 13 year old is 6’2″ and super smart, reads all the time and loves Dr. Who, Star Wars and eats me out of house and home. My 10 year old is 5’1 (so also tall, but not yet taller than me!), also super smart, loves to read and wants to be a professional baseball player. He’s a giant cuddler and I love them both more than anything. I recently became a single mom and they are my heroes, my reason for forging ahead, and my strength.

How do you juggle?

I juggle by saying “no” to anything that doesn’t need to be done. I have learned not to over extend myself and not feel guilty about it.

Most embarrassing moment?

When I picked up a 12-pack of Starbucks Via and asked the barista how many packs of coffee were in it.

If you could trade places with anyone in the world for a day, who would it be?

Michelle Obama.

What is your favorite four letter word?

Fuck.