Here at WTF, we value honest conversations about motherhood. When you’re a mom, you have no time for bullshit.
Since we’re all about getting candid with moms, so we sat down with Kassi Bacquet and asked her some questions about her life, who her mom crushes are, and if sex gets better with age. Read our interview with this badass mom!
1. How is actually being a mom different from what you once imagined it?
As a young girl, I never imagined being a mom until I was in my mid-twenties or early thirties… but that wasn’t to be the case. Getting pregnant at sixteen years old was not planned (obviously) but the greatest blessing. My oldest, Tyler, who’s eighteen now, changed my life for the better. Fast forward seven years from his birth to when I had my second child, Tannyn, and man, that was hard. I had forgotten about the sleepless nights, the non-stop crying and with Tyler I never had to deal with a husband who was made cranky by it all. It was rough! By the time I had my third, Tayli, at twenty-seven years old, I felt like I had it down. Five years later and having the twins, Tavvi and Trax, at thirty-two, has probably been the most difficult. Not just because there were two babies to take care of, but because I was older now and less resilient to the lack of sleep and all the crying. Not to mention the diagnosis of one of my twins having the genetic disease, Cystic Fibrosis. None of being a mom is what I imagined… other than all the love I receive and all the love I give. Who knew you could love five little people more than life itself?!
2. Do you find yourself doing things and thinking, “Oh my god. I’m my mother.” If so, how does that make you feel?
I actually don’t think that. My mom seemed to have it way more together than I ever have. I mean, she used to put us to sleep singing Puff the Magic Dragon while playing her guitar in our doorway at night, was up before us all with lunches made and probably breakfast too… I’m so lazy by comparison! I put my kids to sleep with a prayer and a few pats on the butt and I’m usually up after my oldest girls are up and already dressed for school. Geez, that makes me sound wonderful doesn’t it? There are a lot of similarities between my mom and I, but not many in how we parent other than raising them with the same morales and values that she raised us with.
3. How has your own childhood shaped how you parent?
My parents are divorced and got divorced when I was six. My mom being the one who was very consistent and somewhat strict, my dad being the total and complete opposite…completely laid back with very few rules and no set bedtime. I feel that I parent right there somewhere in the middle which I feel is a pretty good place to be. Both my parents are wonderful in totally different ways.
4. Do you ever find yourself suffering from “mom guilt?” If so, what is something that makes you feel guilty as a mom that you didn’t feel guilty about before?
I feel mom guilt all the time. The twins (who are three now) take up all my time and have for the last three years. I feel that I fail my oldest daughters all the time – they rarely get the attention they want/need from me so I try to make it a point to do dates with them as often as I can/we can afford it. During that time I really do my best to be attentive and present. I often feel mom guilt when it comes to taking care of my son, Trax, who has Cystic Fibrosis. He needs two treatments a day which consists of chest physical therapy and airway clearance treatments. Sometimes I only get one in a day and I feel like the worst parent when that happens.
5. How do you deal when your kid says something embarrassing in public to a stranger? Like, “You’re ugly” to a stranger?
Oh gosh, kids say the darndest things, right? Ha. So far, thankfully, I have not had to deal with that…. I would probably turn bright red and apologize to whomever was at the end of it and then have a talk with whichever kid did/said something. It may have happened with my older three, but honestly, I have the worst mom brain and sadly can’t remember much pre-twins. It’s awful.
6. Who are 3 of your mom crushes?
Hmmmm I have new ones all the time and so many. There are a few moms who have a gazillion children and homeschool or work full time and seem to do it all… I really admire women like that. I also have some crushes on some single moms who are such an inspiration to me. My sister is a mom crush for sure. She decorates her home beautifully, has four kids, has dealt with losses and is one of the best moms I know. Plus, her kids are well behaved.
7. Is it hard to not compare yourself to other moms? How do you combat that?
You know, I used to, but now that I’m nearing my late thirties, I don’t any more. I’m so comfortable with who I am. There are some things I need to work on but I don’t compare. Comparison is the thief of joy so I don’t really ever go there.
8. What is the biggest lie you think society feeds us about motherhood? And what is actually the truth?
Gosh, I feel there are so many lies out there that society feeds us… that you’re a failure if you don’t breastfeed or breastfeed long enough or that you breastfeed too long. That co-sleeping is best or letting your baby cry it out it is best…everything we’re fed through media is a big contradiction. Moms shouldn’t compare themselves, shouldn’t judge others for not “doing it their way”… we’re all in this thing together. Each mom has her own story to tell and her own way of telling it. We all are doing our very best and none of us are really doing it better than the other. One thing I’ve learned is that it’s ok to ask for help and it really does take a village. I’m thankful I have and have had a great village!
9. Do you think sex gets better with age?
I really want to answer this with a big fat YES but ask me again when I don’t have toddlers in my bed. Two three year olds up constantly throughout the night can really put a damper on the sex life.
10. What’s one thing you like to do to get you out of a funk/depression/bad mood?
I need time alone to get out of my funk-zone. Whether thats reading my Bible, praying, playing a game on my phone, reading a book or sitting outside with a cup of coffee… working out, just taking a shower alone, whatever it is, as long as I’m alone, it helps.
11. What’s the first curse word you inadvertently taught your kid?
Oh man, I’m not sure. I remember my first daughter, Tannyn, saying the F word when she was little. She may or may not have heard from me… I doubt it was from me but you who knows. I think the curse word I use the most is probably damn. I don’t cuss much at all but when I do it’s usually saying something along the lines of “go clean your damn room!” It takes a lot for me to cuss though.