Felicity Huffman's What the Flicka? Erin K Moffat: The Wheels on the Bus
VIEW
Erin K Moffat's
PROFILE
Erin K Moffat

“The Wheels on The Bus Go Round and Round…”

Do you own any old “mental cassette tapes”? You know those old cassette tapes that play in your head that you try so hard to record over but you just can’t? C’mon you know those stinking tapes that play in your head. Maybe, the tapes are the anxiety you feel about a certain situation? Maybe they’re from a time in your life that you dread to revert back to (Braces, bangs, and an oversized backpack, not of any help to your scoliosis perhaps)? The tapes where you are totally the most horrible person on the entire planet? The tapes where you should never speak again because you say all of the wrong things? The tapes where you agonize that someone hates your guts for no logical or apparent reason? Okay, you get the picture, and most women I know own some of these tapes. I call this the “wheels on the bus!” I’m talking about the bus of the mind. How it begins…

You don’t recall putting the key into the ignition of the bus but somehow the wheels start turning on their own. What? As the bus is rolling along you realize that there are people on this bus. It’s like all the voices in your head have now taken on human form and they are riding your bus. The cassette tapes start to play. Then the people on your bus start to multiply. Sometimes, it’s just you yourself and you just seem to keep multiplying and you can’t figure out which one of you (of the you’s) is actually controlling the bus. Is anyone at the wheel? I always get nervous when the wheels on my bus start to turn because who knows who I’m going to let on. I don’t mean to but sometimes they just push their way on the bus and none of them are paying the bus fare. I don’t remember making a stop but somehow they’ve been riding the bus for years. How the heck did all you people get on this bus?

All at once everyone on that bus wants your attention. They are telling you different things, and most of the people on this bus are not nice. They start to attack saying things like you’re so fat, and ugly, they begin to poke at you, spit balls are flying, and someone is telling you that you are completely incapable of accomplishing anything. Now, ask yourself what would a good bus driver do? The bus driver would come over the intercom and tell everyone to sit down, kindly take their seats, and stop talking. (QUIET!!!!) However, this is the bus that you should be driving but you aren’t always in control of. Okay, so maybe for you it’s not a bus it’s an SUV, sedan, go-cart, or a Little House on the Prairie Wagon. Whatever the vehicle may be, the question is who has the reigns? Who is driving? Who is in control?

PUT YOUR FOOT ON THE BREAK

Guess what? No one is paying the fare! You are in control of your bus so take the wheel. So if it’s your bus and if you’re in control then you have the right to kick anyone and everyone off of the bus. What are you waiting for? Stop the bus! Tell them to take a hike and get of your bus. They can find another ride. Maybe there is a nice carpool circle the negative voices of your mind can join together as long as it’s out of your head. Take the cassette tapes out of that tape deck. Those cassette tapes are old and they probably won’t work anymore even if you crack out your number 2 Pencil and try reel the tape back in. What are you holding on to those cassette tapes for anyway? It’s not even a good mix! Throw it away! It’s time! If the negative passengers try to board again tomorrow just tell them all of the seats are taken. Then fill the seats of your bus with the voices of reason, the voices that motivate you, the voices of positive energy, and the “you’s” that love you. Go ahead and install a top notch CD player that plays only good music, positive words, and good vibes. Enjoy that bus because you’re the one driving. Rock it out! The bus driver has spoken!

Who has control of your bus?

THE AUTHOR

Erin Moffat is an actor, writer, and make-up artist presently residing on the east coast. She considers her coolest accomplishment to date as writing, directing, and starring in an original musical Bucket List of Unbroken Dreams: Erin K. Moffat the Musical. The musical comedy follows her on a journey into her past as she attempts to “unbreak,” her ...

MORE ON WTF
  • Which Type of Silver Fox Is Right For You?

    This post is brought to you by And So It Goes, starring Diane Keaton and Michael Douglas. Now available on Digital HD and on DVD and Blu-Ray. Michael Douglas may play a less-than-agreeable character ...