The Project My 1st Grader Did That Bruised My Ego

School’s almost out and the kids are bringing home all of their projects from the year. It’s one of  my favorite things! I love reading all the cute things they’ve written about me worked on all year…adorable spelling mistakes and all. Today Jack brought home a collection of ‘books’ he’s written. It was titled, “Thoughts From One Fabulous First Grader.” It should have been titled, “Thoughts From One Fabulous First Grader That Made Mom Feel Like Someone Put a Knife Through Her Heart.” Let’s examine, shall we?

Each ‘book’ he wrote had a title, copyright date, and dedication.

Here is the Jack’s touching dedication from story number one:

Story number two’s dedication made me laugh:

(This book is dedicated to my brother Ben, who doesn’t know how many kids are in my class.)

I can’t wait to see what story he’s dedicated to his dear mother.

Oh look. Story number three…it’s written not for, but ABOUT his sister Anna. How very sweet.

That only leaves one member of our family…story number four must be dedicated to…

Of course. Our cats, Nellie and Hazel.

The lucky recipients of story number five were:

(Two very important people in Jack’s life…deserving of a dedication)

Okay, by process of elimination I figure MY dedication must be next.

Lets take a look at story number six:

Obviously.

I’m starting to lose hope here. There are only two more dedications left.

The next shout out goes to……

How am I supposed to compete with NBA players?!?

Okay, CLEARLY he’s saving his final dedication for the most important woman in his life. The woman who has been there for him through thick and thin. The woman who is overflowing with love for him. The woman who would lay down her life for him. The woman who loves him unconditionally and always.

CLEARLY story number eight is dedicated to…

In case you can’t see it clearly, let me clarify. That WAS my name…before he erased it and wrote the name of his ‘friend who’s a girl,’ Shelby. (I blurred out her last name for privacy). When I asked him about it he said, “What? She made me write  her name.” And so it begins. Being bossed around by a woman and doing everything she says. He’s going to make a great husband one day. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go remove this knife from my heart. Don’t worry about me…I’ll be okay.

This post was originally featured on Marie’s blog, Make Your Own Damn Dinner. Photo via.

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