Nothing says Halloween like an amazing “Thriller” parody video! Are you a mombie? Chances are, if you’ve ever had a toddler, you are! It’s ok, there may not be a cure for you yet but at least you have this video to cheer you up. 

This amazing parody comes from Vintage Marquee Lights on YouTube. Check out some of our other favorites below!

SEE MORE: “Let Me Poop” Is The Best New Frozen Parody Ever
We know, we know. You’re tired of the many versions of “Let It Go” that are floating around the internet. Well, you may think you are, but that’s only because you haven’t seen Emily Mandelbaum’s amazing parody yet. The smell never bothered her, anyway.

SEE MORE: “Timber” Bedtime Mom Parody
Ohhhhhhhh bedtime. It’s THE WORST time of day when you’re a parent. And since it’s better to laugh than cry, I made a parody about it! Here’s my Pitbull – Timber ft. Ke$ha Mom Parody. Enjoy!

Knowledge is power.

Unfortunately no one really educates you on the weird details of toddler hood. Maybe because they are so bizarre that people don’t know how to handle it. Like when Google did away with their feed reader. You hint to talk about it but you just can’t.

Here are 15 things I’ve learned from both my toddlers in the last year:

1. My left, or right, bra strap has become stretched beyond usefulness. 
My toddlers hang onto it like a lifeline. Like a walk from the kitchen to the car is equivalent to a mechanical bull ride.

2. My shirt collars have zero elasticity left in them. 
My toddlers feel a need to use it to climb on me and get my attention, just to protest being put down. Every shirt has become an over exaggerated scoop neck.

3. Toddler snot materializes as soon as I wipe it. 
It’s bionic mucous.

4. They’re in charge. 
Reverse psychology, bribery and negotiations only work if they say it’s okay.

5. They don’t care.
They can go an entire day with both legs through one leg hole of their underwear, pants, or shorts and walk around like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

6. They’re Limitless
Setting a limit on toilet paper amounts for a potty training is pointless. I’ve learned to just hand them the roll before going to get the plunger.

7. Toddlers are eager to help. 
I take advantage of someone who is so excited about tossing laundry into the dryer. Of course, laundry tossing turns into exactly that. Tossing laundry. Everywhere.

8. They love to Splash
My kids MUST reenact the breech of a humpback whale as soon as they get into the bathtub. Because without several gallons of water all over the floor, they simply cannot bathe.

9. My Toddlers don’t eat. 
They’ll run off energy from four grapes for two whole weeks before fueling up again.

10. They like to do everything.
Their attention span is so small that we often do 40 different activities in less than four minutes.

11. They will step on me to get past me. 
Not around me. Not over me. On me. And they pinch leg or arm fat along the way. Every. Single. Time.

12. My spouse and I have learned the art of teamwork.
We’ve worked together diligently, with a booger sucker and a flashlight, to extract play-doh from our toddler’s ear.

13. My toddlers teach me how to pretend again. 
Like, pretending I didn’t really see my one-year old drink from a puddle on the ground. That was formed by over splash from the dog’s water bowl.

14. They do weird things.
I’ve had to tell my child to quit biting my toes. Seriously.

15. Silence is not golden.
The only thing more frightening than silence and toddlers in another room is silence and the sound of something heavy being dragged across the floor….

God bless mothers of multiples.

Originally posted at Christina’s blog, Raisins and Goldfish. Photo courtesy of NCEE.

The other day I was that mom.

You know.

The one with the uncontrollable two year old. That has the inability to share. Listen. Sit still. Not jump or otherwise act civilized. The toddler with the insatiable appetite for destruction.

I was that mom.

The one who desperately wanted to look around the room, with a confused expression, and say to people: “Woah. Who brought that kid?”

It was Toddler Tales at the library. It was supposed to be story time. With bean bags and scarves to toss in the air, while the wheels on the bus went round and round. With right legs to put in and right legs to put out, so we could shake them all about and do the Hokey Pokey, to find out what it’s all about.

I sat paralyzed. Stunned at this wild behavior never before exhibited by my child. Hoping the gods of toddler behaviors would cut me some slack. At least before someone got a bean bag in the face.

If you would have been there, observing, you would have been sure about three things:

1. This was the first time my child had ever been out of the house.
2. My child gets less attention than the goldfish we constantly forget to feed.
3. My child is fed only the purest sugar directly imported from Brazil.

The toddler brain defies all logic as adults know it. Their brutal honesty and matter-of-factness is downright intimidating, if not a little frightening. As adults we know what’s acceptable and what isn’t. Toddlers probably do but they don’t care. I know this because mine:

1. Ran around the room like a wild turkey, busting free from a stint at Foster Farms
2. Embraced a total stranger. Not just hugged. Sat in her lap. Arms thrown around her neck. Head rested on shoulder. Sighed. Like she’s been an orphan her whole life, neglected of the only thing she’ll ever need: hugs.
3. Climbed into some lady’s stroller.
4. Attempted to help herself to some snacks out of the same lady’s diaper bag.
5. Climbed into the chair at the exact moment the storyteller decided to sit down. Goosing this very nice lady, with a boney knee right in the tuckus.
6. Called a 34 year old guy, “Grandpa” then asked him for some gum.
7. Jumped into the middle of the Hokey Pokey circle, stiffly jerking her hips side to side while shouting for everyone to: “Shaka Booty.”

Every attempt I made to stop her and sit her down, resulted in a screech you could hear within a 20 block radius. She intended to have her fun, Veruka Salt-style.

When we left I felt defeated. That I’d never recover. I’d never be able to go back. Ever. Our photos would be taped to the main entrance when we arrived next time (right? I was already considering a next time?).

But just like childbirth, the overwhelming feeling and intensity of it all faded as quickly as it started. By the time we arrived home, less than 10 minutes later, it felt like a lifetime ago.

By the next morning I’d already put it all behind me.

Then she started Tumble Tots gymnastics.

And had to sit in the stretching circle. Instead of running around the room, perfecting a one-toddler routine of Cirque du Soleil.

She turned her loud screech on. She turned her loud screech off. She turned her even louder screech on and threw herself all about.

The terrible twos.

That’s what they’re all about.

Originally posted at Christina’s blog, Raisins and Goldfish. Photo courtesy of Sheknows.com.

After my daughter turned a year old and became a walking hummingbird who would get into everything, I naively thought that would probably be the most trying part of having a toddler. HaHaHaHaHaHa! *breathes* HaHaHaHaHaHa!

Enter what I call toddler PMS. I now know what my hubby has to put up with every month except my little girl’s toddler PMS is chronic. I’m sure that he would argue that my monthly PMS is too, but he doesn’t want me to rip his head off, both of them.

My daughter is usually very sweet and well-behaved. She also has such a gentle heart and when I catch glimpses of how she will be when she gets older, I feel so proud.

But out of the blue she will have meltdowns and tantrums. She has been climbing the terrible twos ladder for awhile and according to a terrible twos calculator I came across online (I couldn’t resist doing it and regretted it right after, kind of like when I lost my virginity) she will be in this stage for another 428 days – 23 hours – 42 minutes – and 32 seconds. Note to the terrible twos calculator people: bite me.

Before I had my daughter, I would see parents standing there with blank stares while their child would be kicking and screaming at a store. I would always think, “why aren’t they doing anything.” Now I know.

You aren’t quite sure what to do because in an instant your precious babe can go from talking in such a sweet little voice and giving you MWAH! kisses, to acting possessed while you’re waiting in a long line at the drugstore.

Your possessed child starts screaming at the top of their lungs, because you will no longer let them hold a box of tissues that they have chewed holes in. They throw themselves on the floor, while everyone in line and behind the pharmacy counter looks your way since it sounds like you’re slowly killing said child.

Not that I would know anything about that. *snort*

Yesterday was especially bad interesting. No matter what I said to my daughter, she would look at me, stick her bottom lip out, and do her “I’m being murdered” cry with tears streaming down her face.

“Be gentle with the kitty.” CRY. “Do you want your sippy?” CRYYYYYY. “Let’s go to the playground,” *she runs to the front door* “we have to get your shoes on before we go.” CRYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Me: ………mutters “holy crap”……..

The playground is less than a block from our house and I carry her across the street, then let her run on the soccer field that’s next to the playground. She didn’t like this setup yesterday and was struggling to break free while I was crossing the street. I’m sure it looked like I was kidnapping her.

After I set her down she ran a few feet, stopped, and just stood there for several seconds. Could she perhaps be changing from a cranky toddler to a cranky zombie toddler? Nope. It was toddler PMS. She threw herself on the ground and started pointing at me while whining. I had no idea what she wanted and had to play 20 questions with her, finally realizing it’s the keys in my pocket that she wants.

Happy again with keys in hand, the little hummingbird and I made it to the playground in one piece, barely. She went down the slide a few times and then ran around by the swings. Then she tripped. I ran over to her and picked her up, making sure she was okay. That made me THE most horrible mother in the entire world.

She does this thing where she’ll take a few steps, she falls on her bum, and then repeats it a few times. She finds it so funny.
While on the playground having her tantrum, my little girl was screaming and pushing me away as I tried to help her up. While continuing to scream, she got up, walked a few steps, and slammed right down on her bum. She also started wailing “MAAHHHMAA!” This went on for a minute or so.

It was one of those moments where I thought someone slipped something in my coffee because I felt like I was having a bad acid trip.

After getting over the “what in the hell” aspect of her meltdown, I looked at her while she continued doing this and it took all I had to stop from busting out laughing. I felt bad for even thinking it’s funny, but oh my gawd, it was. I know I would lose my mind if I didn’t see the funny side of it.

Even with all of the tantrums, the crying, the flopping around like a fish when I try to pick her up, and the whining, I still can’t wait to have another baby. …But I’m sure the next one will be a perfect little angel.

Photo via.