Anyone who says they don’t think about anything else other than sex while they’re doing the deed is like someone saying they only eat one bowl of cereal: YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF LIARS.
Okay, we’re kidding. Maybe you do only think about sex while you’re having it, but in that case you’re a rare unicorn and we’d love to chat. Most of us are so preoccupied with the daily stresses of life that it’s impossible for our mind not to wander. We’re still enjoying it – we just get a little preoccupied.
Here are 10 non-sex things women think about during sex.
1. “Why did I eat so much today?!”
It’s like the minute we’re doing it, every snack/bad choice comes to the forefront of our minds. Did we really need to eat that leftover Pop Tart our kid didn’t touch? Whoops.
2. “The bathroom is really overdue for a good scrubbing.”
The bathtub tile really shouldn’t be that color…
3. “Shit, I have so much laundry to do.”
YEAH, and this bitch needs to do the whites ASAP. Uh, I mean, yes that feels good….
4. “John Stamos must be a vampire.”
Does he age? Like, does he?
5. “If the kids wake up I will weep gently into the night.”
Listen, once you have kids it’s hard to get in the sexy time. So yeah, we’re thinking about a zillion other things, but if the kids wake up and interrupt, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY.
6. “I could definitely go for some pizza.”
Forget #1, we could seriously put away an entire medium by ourselves. We’re technically working out right now anyway.
7. “Is this almost over? Because I take my sleep very seriously and this is kiiiind of cutting into it.”
Must. Not. Fall. Asleep. Repeat.
8. “Did the kids brush their teeth before they went to bed?”
Honestly, it’s anyone’s guess at this point.
9. “When was the last time I showered?”
When you’re trying to keep an entire household in order and making sure your kids stay in tact, showering is the last thing on your mind.
10. “Did I forget to DVR the latest episode of Scandal?!”
MAYBE the most horrifying thought to have during sex.