Stories
Complaints
Beth Markley

Want To See Something REALLY Scary?

I don’t think I’m ever one to second-guess other parents … until Halloween.

On All Hallows Eve, I transform into Judge Judge-y McJudgerson.

I am that mom. The one who cuts her kids off from trick-or-treating about the time they’re elbowing their way into puberty. I’m not following any developmental guidebook, and I haven’t looked up any studies on kids who later needed therapy because their moms put the kibosh on the candy corn prematurely. It’s just one of the many rules I was raised with that I have arbitrarily selected to enforce on my own progeny. READ MORE

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  • Expanding My Definition Of Success

    I’m having an early mid-life crisis. OK, so it’s probably not all THAT early and I actually think that I have come through to the other side with the help of a few wise and wonderful women in my life....

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  • "Wonderful Things About Being A Girl" …According To An 8-Year-Old

    A Redditor’s daughter was given an assignment to write about being a female. The 8 year old's words have gone......

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  • Complaints
    Felicity Huffman's What The Flicka - "Mommy, I Want To Be A Princess"

    “Mommy, I Want To Be A Princess.” Vomit.

    When she was two, she wasn’t yet entrenched into the princess world. And I naively thought, “my daughter really does not dig the whole princess thing.” And I sighed with relief. Then she turned three. And like flipping on a...Read More
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  • Semi-Homemade Movie-Star Pizza

    I’ve been known to deconstruct TV dinners and add my own semi-homemade magic to the dish. It’s mostly just me trying to show off. “Oh, you’re having a frozen pizza honey? Me too. With garlic seared shrimp, micro basil and a few doll...

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  • Mommytube: "Mama" Monologue/Song

    Check out this Mommytube submission we received from Julia Kantor. Julia performed this original monologue/song at one of Expressing Motherhood‘s recent shows. Sit back and enjoy!...

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  • Complaints

    The Checkout Line Makes People Ask Dumb Adoption Questions

    Remember when your teacher told you, “The only dumb question is one you don’t ask.” That is not always true. This is a true story about dumb questions....Read More
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  • My Father’s Daughter

    I sit in my white Reem Acra duchess satin gown in a room on the second floor of The Metropolitan Club in New York with everyone I know just downstairs waiting for me, the bride....

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  • 5 Amazing Baby Photobombs

    We’ve got a fun Friday 5 for you this week—baby photobombs! We’re pretty sure everybody knows that babies are the best at sneaking into a picture unexpectedly…but just in case there was any doubt, here’s the proof....

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  • Complaints

    Help! I’m Turning Into My Mother!

    This is my future. Look at it. Is it a photo of a purse with faux fur on it? Yes, yes it is.

    Is it adorable? Yes, but that’s not the point. And the blinged out phone cover? Also adorable, but also gaudy, no?

    The point is this: I’m turning into my mother.

    Don’t get my wrong, I tolerate love my mother, so turning into her is isn’t a bad thing.
    But so soon? So quickly?

    I figured I’d be at least late 50s before the resemblences started creeping in. Apparently not. READ MORE

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    Complaints

    Being On My Period Is Like Being The Incredible Hulk

    For five days out of each month, I transform into the Incredible Hulk. My skin swells underneath the waistband of my pants, my IQ drops down to the level of a dull-witted reality star and my emotions run the broad gamut of annoyed to infuriated. My children become miniature obstacles to my happiness and my husband – well, I rarely seem him during those few days because he has learned to leave whatever room in the house I happen to be occupying. And while my skin doesn’t turn green necessarily, the flush of barely controlled rage that I seem to have simmering underneath my focused and determined facade certainly makes me feel like I am standing out in a crowd. READ MORE

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  • RECIPE: Crock Pot Chocolate Candy Balls

    There are a lot of recipes for making candy in a crock pot. This is one of the easiest and most versatile around! Crock Pot Chocolate Candy Balls are loaded with flavor and so simple to make, this is a great project to tackle with the kids....

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  • ‘Twas The Carnage After Christmas

    ’twas Christmas Day night, And my humble abode, Looked like a toy store had almost explode (ed). The day started off, all shiny and new, With kisses, and hugs, between all the Whos....

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  • Complaints

    The 6 Most Annoying People On Facebook

    I’ve been part of the Facebook world for a few years. I’m actually so familiar with Facebook that I wish there was a way to “like” people’s work emails instead of actually responding. I think this would facilitate better response...Read More
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  • Quick & Easy Raspberry Vinaigrette Pasta Salad

    With summer quickly winding down, we had an urge to do a barbecue over the weekend. Not all of the kids could make it, but we had a great time nonetheless. As always, one of my mainstay recipes is this Quick and Easy Raspberry Vinaigrette P...

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