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Handshake Partake!

Career training websites ask “What does your handshake say about you?” The truth is, frankly, I don’t give a damn. I loathe handshakes! I’m like Howie friggin’ Mandel. My handshake says, “I hate handshakes, how about a fist pump, or Awkward Stranger Hug?” Read More

Complaints

Happy Hellish Holidays

It’s already November isn’t it? My family is already staring at me with their tongues extended to the floor expecting a marvelous Thanksgiving feast and I haven’t saved nearly enough for Christmas sales, or presents for that matter. Everywhere I go some well-meaning doofus asks me if I’m ready for Thanksgiving. They say it with extra emphasis in the middle and a cheerleader’s gleam in their eyes. I guess I take a slight guilty pleasure in Read More

Complaints

Bad Hair, Bad Day!

Today I am sad. It’s kind of ridiculous, sort of embarrassing and I feel way too old for this sort of thing but…I’m having a bad hair day! And it’s all because I got a bad haircut. My friends are being supportive, encouraging me with smiles and words: “It looks really healthy,” “It really frames your face,” and “It’ll grow back.” And they’re right. But I am still sad. It is not what I wanted. I asked for a simple trim to my shoulder length bob and I left the salon with a chin length choppy shag, fringy bangs and a brand new charge to my credit card.

I’m also angry. Angry that Read More

Complaints

A Slap in the Face

In Elle Davis’ post, Monster-In-Laws, she discusses how hurtful her mother-in-law’s passive aggressive ways can be. Have you ever heard the saying “It’s a slap in the face”? Back handed compliments are back handed because someone just “back handed you”.

Has there ever been a time when someone has said something to you and it’s like they are verbally or mentally bludgeoning you? Maybe, it’s not quite that violent…maybe it’s more like a little pinch, a poke, or a dig. These eventually add up to a bludgeon. Trust me! Perhaps, in fact, you would have preferred a smack in the face? I think that we discount the fact that it actually feels physical when someone mentally abuses you. I will identify several scenarios and state the “offense” that I think fits the “crime”.

1. Someone tells you that you’re doing a great job, and 5 minutes later you overhear them telling someone else that you suck. (SLAP IN THE FACE)

2. “Let’s get something straight!” Doesn’t usually result in Read More

Complaints

5 Different Ways to Ask the Same Annoying Question!

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

For single people, this is the dreaded question from people you haven’t seen in a while; your nail tech, your grandmother and pretty much everyone else that you speak to on the planet…

The Straight Shooter asks: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Respond with a question: “Do you have a boyfriend?”
Sometimes it’s easier to start responding to the question with a question. An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth! A boyfriend for a boyfriend!

The Ones Closest (people who know you don’t have a boyfriend, but feel the need to ask anyway) say: “You’re such a great girl. Why do you Read More

Complaints

The "Why" Stage

I thought that my 3 year-old, the little hummingbird, bypassed the “why?” stage and was becoming overly confident that I would get lucky and be able to avoid that stage. So, of course that means she has embraced the why stage with a wild abandon over the last few months and my brain hurts. Help!

While I’m putting on my bra:

Me: Let me just put on my bra.
Hummingbird: Why?
Me: Because I have boobs. Read More