Stories
Complaints
Ashlen "the Kidspert" Sheaffer

Dear Children On A Saturday Morning

Dear Children on a Saturday Morning,

I love you. I do truly love you with all of my heart. Just not at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I love my sleep then. READ MORE

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  • How To: Rock a LBD with a Mommy Body

    I love wearing dresses. They are a little more forgiving than pants, especially if you’re curvy like me. And there is nothing like the Little Black Dress (LBD). It’s every woman’s secret weapon.  Black is my favorite color to wear, b...

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  • Runaway Mom

    It is 7pm on a Monday. I am sitting in yet another airport lounge, waiting for yet another business trip. I took an evening flight so that I could take the big boy to karate and have dinner with the family one more time before six days on t...

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  • Complaints
    Beth Markley

    Want To See Something REALLY Scary?

    I don’t think I’m ever one to second-guess other parents … until Halloween.

    On All Hallows Eve, I transform into Judge Judge-y McJudgerson.

    I am that mom. The one who cuts her kids off from trick-or-treating about the time they’re elbowing their way into puberty. I’m not following any developmental guidebook, and I haven’t looked up any studies on kids who later needed therapy because their moms put the kibosh on the candy corn prematurely. It’s just one of the many rules I was raised with that I have arbitrarily selected to enforce on my own progeny. READ MORE

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  • Caine’s Arcade

    This will definitely put a smile on your face. ...

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  • One Moment My Father Was On The Train. The Next, He Was Gone.

    One moment my father was on the train. The next he was gone. The year was 1979. Frozen yogurt was the craze, and my dad ate it with strawberries, coconut, and carob chips for toppings....

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  • Complaints
    Felicity Huffman's What The Flicka - "Mommy, I Want To Be A Princess"

    “Mommy, I Want To Be A Princess.” Vomit.

    When she was two, she wasn’t yet entrenched into the princess world. And I naively thought, “my daughter really does not dig the whole princess thing.” And I sighed with relief. Then she turned three. And like flipping on a...Read More
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  • Baby and Puppy Love

    Love babies? How about puppies? What if you put those two together…in one video? We know, the “aw” factor would be almost unbearable. But that didn’t stop us from sharing today’s MommyTube video featuring an ad...

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  • This Is One Love Song You May Not Actually Want To Sing To Your Husband Out Loud

    Parenting is hard. But CO-Parenting is harder! We got some great advice from our marriage counselor once. She said that men need 2 things:...

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  • Complaints

    The Checkout Line Makes People Ask Dumb Adoption Questions

    Remember when your teacher told you, “The only dumb question is one you don’t ask.” That is not always true. This is a true story about dumb questions....Read More
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  • You Can Sleep With Me Tonight

    Last night I held my poor daughters head while she threw up. It poured out of her in a mouth shaped stream. It’s like she was possessed, her whole body taken over by spasms. Poor dear, she couldn’t catch her breath. She had no control. ...

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  • Mommytube: Lil’ Girl Dancing To Gotye’s "Somebody That I Used To Know"

    Happy Monday! We thought it was appropriate to start off the week with a smile. This little girl captured our hearts as she gets her groove on to Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know.” Watch her ponytail bob as she moves ...

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  • Complaints

    Help! I’m Turning Into My Mother!

    This is my future. Look at it. Is it a photo of a purse with faux fur on it? Yes, yes it is.

    Is it adorable? Yes, but that’s not the point. And the blinged out phone cover? Also adorable, but also gaudy, no?

    The point is this: I’m turning into my mother.

    Don’t get my wrong, I tolerate love my mother, so turning into her is isn’t a bad thing.
    But so soon? So quickly?

    I figured I’d be at least late 50s before the resemblences started creeping in. Apparently not. READ MORE

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    Complaints

    Being On My Period Is Like Being The Incredible Hulk

    For five days out of each month, I transform into the Incredible Hulk. My skin swells underneath the waistband of my pants, my IQ drops down to the level of a dull-witted reality star and my emotions run the broad gamut of annoyed to infuriated. My children become miniature obstacles to my happiness and my husband – well, I rarely seem him during those few days because he has learned to leave whatever room in the house I happen to be occupying. And while my skin doesn’t turn green necessarily, the flush of barely controlled rage that I seem to have simmering underneath my focused and determined facade certainly makes me feel like I am standing out in a crowd. READ MORE

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  • The Spiritual Importance Of Rest

    We all need rest, but how many of active ladies actually get it? Many of us work on the weekends. Motherhood is a fulltime job with no day off, and even sleep isn’t always restorative, as any new mother can tell you. So how can busy women...

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  • The Beach: People With Kids VS. People Without Kids

    I have two boys.  They require a crap ton of preparation before heading to the beach. As much as I adore summer and the time I get with them I find myself sometimes longing for the days when all it took to go to the beach was me, a towel ...

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