Stories
Complaints
Beth Markley

Want To See Something REALLY Scary?

I don’t think I’m ever one to second-guess other parents … until Halloween.

On All Hallows Eve, I transform into Judge Judge-y McJudgerson.

I am that mom. The one who cuts her kids off from trick-or-treating about the time they’re elbowing their way into puberty. I’m not following any developmental guidebook, and I haven’t looked up any studies on kids who later needed therapy because their moms put the kibosh on the candy corn prematurely. It’s just one of the many rules I was raised with that I have arbitrarily selected to enforce on my own progeny. READ MORE

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  • The Mean Mom Chronicles: Cell Phone Rules for My Teen

    I’ve been accused of being a mean mom.  I’ve been accused of being a strict mom.  I have been accused of treating my teen like a baby.  All of these accusations have come from my teen, and mostly in response to house rules about tech...

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  • MommyTube: Who’s Your Favorite?

    This video is sure to put a smile on your face. Ever try to ask your children who their favorite parent is? Check out what happens when this father attempts to ask his daughter who she likes more, mommy or daddy?...

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  • Complaints
    Felicity Huffman's What The Flicka - "Mommy, I Want To Be A Princess"

    “Mommy, I Want To Be A Princess.” Vomit.

    When she was two, she wasn’t yet entrenched into the princess world. And I naively thought, “my daughter really does not dig the whole princess thing.” And I sighed with relief. Then she turned three. And like flipping on a...Read More
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  • The Baby Rockstar

    Just like daddy!...

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  • My Village

    As moms we all need our village and it doesn’t mean the same thing for all of us but we all know who they are. They are the people we lean on. They are the people we complain to about our bad days and celebrate with on our good ones. They...

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  • Complaints

    The Checkout Line Makes People Ask Dumb Adoption Questions

    Remember when your teacher told you, “The only dumb question is one you don’t ask.” That is not always true. This is a true story about dumb questions....Read More
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  • Sex, Interrupted

    Parents who have sex fall into two categories: • Those who have sex only when children are sound asleep. • Those who don’t wait for sleeping children and will relate to the following words....

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  • Gobble Gobbler

    Thanksgiving is my favorite time of the year. The stress of Christmas shopping hasn’t begun yet—no standing in line at 3:00a.m. for dolls that burp, hiccup and pee in their pants. I get enough of that at home. No maxing out credit c...

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  • Complaints

    Help! I’m Turning Into My Mother!

    This is my future. Look at it. Is it a photo of a purse with faux fur on it? Yes, yes it is.

    Is it adorable? Yes, but that’s not the point. And the blinged out phone cover? Also adorable, but also gaudy, no?

    The point is this: I’m turning into my mother.

    Don’t get my wrong, I tolerate love my mother, so turning into her is isn’t a bad thing.
    But so soon? So quickly?

    I figured I’d be at least late 50s before the resemblences started creeping in. Apparently not. READ MORE

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    Complaints

    Being On My Period Is Like Being The Incredible Hulk

    For five days out of each month, I transform into the Incredible Hulk. My skin swells underneath the waistband of my pants, my IQ drops down to the level of a dull-witted reality star and my emotions run the broad gamut of annoyed to infuriated. My children become miniature obstacles to my happiness and my husband – well, I rarely seem him during those few days because he has learned to leave whatever room in the house I happen to be occupying. And while my skin doesn’t turn green necessarily, the flush of barely controlled rage that I seem to have simmering underneath my focused and determined facade certainly makes me feel like I am standing out in a crowd. READ MORE

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  • I Hate Babies

    I used to think that I wasn’t built for parenthood. Like Brad Pitt was accused of missing the “sensitivity chip”, for years I was convinced that I was born without the mommy gene. Now I realize that I just hate babies. Let me expla...

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  • RECIPE: Loaded Potato Salad

    Check out this mouth-wateringly delicious loaded potato salad recipe!...

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  • Complaints

    The 6 Most Annoying People On Facebook

    I’ve been part of the Facebook world for a few years. I’m actually so familiar with Facebook that I wish there was a way to “like” people’s work emails instead of actually responding. I think this would facilitate better response...Read More
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  • TV Mom Tuesday: Vivian, The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air

    Vivian from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is one tough cookie. In today’s MommyTube clip she channels her inner-mom and makes Debo take several seats! And that’s why we love her....

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  • Summer MakeUp Tips!

    What changes are you considering for your summer makeup? Now that it’s officially summer, I’m making sure to get sunblock on my face, neck and decollete every day and even including my arms, shoulders and legs if exposed. Even though we...

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