Stories
Confessions

Watching Television With My Husband… Always An Adventure!

If it weren’t for my husband’s need to hold a clicker and constantly bounce around channels we would have long ago cut the cable cord and watched television programming strictly through a service like Netflix or Hulu. As it is,...Read More
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Complaints

Assault With A Healthy Salad

I’m a bit of an eater. Okay, maybe that’s an understatement. It’s like saying Tiger Woods dabbles in golf, or that Kayne West is only a slight douchebag.

This girl loves to eat and doesn’t like anything to stand in the way of her and any sort of dipping sauce.
So when I went to lunch with my friend Scissorhands (not her real name) and her mom, I was there for the company, but I was also there for the food!

I arrived and we began chit chatting and catching up, all the while pretending as if I was interested in our conversation and not the appetizers at the table next to. (Would it kill them to offer their neighbor a bite of their dip?) READ MORE

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  • Etsy Find – TwinSyndrome Empowering Panties

    If like me, after having a baby (or two or three) you may no longer be loving the under-the-belly look of your previously loved low cut styles—from jeans to underwear. And if you now prefer a higher cut brief, but still want to feel sexy ...

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  • Delicious & Easy Gluten-Free Chicken Pot Pie

    I’ve recently been very blessed to reconnect with a dear friend I had lost touch with.  This friend was one of those women that within 5 minutes of meeting each other we felt like sisters.  We spoke every single day for years, and years...

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  • ConfessionsUncategorized
    Helen Mitternight

    What The Hell Happened To You?

    My bed is next to my closet and the doors of the closet are all mirrors. So, nearly every morning, I wake up and the first thing I see is my own reflection. And let me tell you, it’s a sobering way to start the day.

    Now, to be sure, there are some days that I see my reflection and my eyes are all full of sleep and haze and I think, “Damn. Look how cute I am!”

    But most days, I see my cheeks sagging pillow-ward, my breasts sliding precipitously into the mattress, and my stomach (when I’ve kicked off the covers) looking like dough that’s risen past the confines of the pan. And I think, “Damn! What the hell happened to you?” READ MORE

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  • What is the Opposite of Athleticism?

    These people. These people are the opposite of athleticism. If you think we’re exaggerating then you should definitely watch and draw your own conclusions. (Spoiler alert: you’ll agree with us)....

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  • Plunging A Pencil Deep In My Thigh

    Everyone from my mother to my chiropractor has been telling me FOR YEARS that I should be meditating. I guess I wear my anxiety level on my sleeve. I have tried everything from centering prayer, to chanting, to transcendental mediation. I h...

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  • Complaints
    Felicity Huffman's What The Flicka - The Most Honest Kids' Birthday Invitation You'll Ever See

    The Most Honest Kids’ Birthday Invitation You’ll Ever See

    If you’ve ever had a major party, or a wedding, or an epic Memorial Day barbecue, then chances are you sent out invitations. And if you sent out invitations, then ask yourself this: why didn’t you invite me?

    Oh no, wait, that’s not the question I was going to have you ask yourself (although it IS a valid one).

    The question you should ask yourself is, “Did anyone RSVP?”

    More and more, it seems like the RSVP is ignored. I’m not sure if people get busy and forget, or if RSVP considered a mere suggestion, or if people ignore it because they think it’s just an antiquated leftover from the quaint days of yesteryear (sort of like how we still open letters with “Dear So-and-So,” even if we hate So-and-So’s guts and don’t consider them “dear” even in the slightest). Whatever the case, fewer and fewer people are bothering to répondez, s’il vous plaît these days. READ MORE

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  • A Mom Filmed a Time Lapse of Trying To Put Her Twins To Bed. The Result Is Kind of Painful To Watch And Really Hilarious.

    This poor mom seems to be caught in a never ending loop. We’d expect nothing less from life with twins!...

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  • Maybe The Best Cupcakes Ever

    When life gives you pink lemonade, make these incredible Pink Lemonade Cupcakes. Yes, we’ve amended the age-old adage and made life all-the-sweeter with these sweet and tart pink lemonade-flavored cupcakes and frosted. Not only are th...

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  • Lessons

    Irish Coffee, Perfect Ponchos, And A Change of Life

    I’m going through a change of life. Not THE change of life, but I’m definitely in the throes of a major life change.

    With the last of our four children leaving for college next year, the obvious change is that we won’t need all this space any longer. The five-bedroom house is already too breezy, too quiet. But as I ready myself for the move to a smaller place, I’m feeling a definite shift happening within.

    I’m buying ponchos.

    And flowy tops.

    Drinking Irish coffee and checking out condos “in town.” READ MORE

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  • Chilly Baby

    Just watching this baby shiver in her bathtub is making us cold! Look at those little gums chatter....

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  • Cinco De Mayo Mexi-tini Hump Day Cocktail

    Good news! I don’t think I mind tequila! Which is great, because Cinco de Mayo is Sunday! And since it’s a Mexican holiday, we’ll be using tequila in the Hump Day Cocktail for this week as well. Have you ever had a Mexi-ti...

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  • Complaints

    My Open Letter (To Costco)

    Lately there have been lots of “open letters” in the media. I guess the idea is to write a letter and then post it to Twitter, Facebook, etc. so it is “open” to the general public. Well, here is my...Read More
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  • Disneyland Surprise Gone Wrong

    When a really well thought out plan totally backfires. The looks on this kid’s face is priceless. Hopefully after they arrived at Disneyland he felt a little better!...

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  • Sex And Insecurity

    My husband and I used to have a great sex life. He joined the Navy a few months after he graduated college so we would have to go months without seeing each other the first 12 years of our marriage. While he was gone I had to *ahem* take ma...

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