Sometimes My Kid Says Inappropriate Things And I Laugh At Her Instead of Reprimand

Remember that time I told you I have 5 kids? That was completely true. What I didn’t tell you is they’re amazing and crazy and they make me feel amazing, but mostly just crazy.

I didn’t realize just how different kids from the same family could be till I had 5 of them and every single one of them is completely different. Especially my youngest, Eden.

Eden just turned 5 years old, but she has a very old soul. She was born middle aged. After 5 kids she manages to make me feel like a rookie in parenting.

It’s with equal parts pride and shame that I present the best of Shit Eden Says.

Meet Eden:

Eden to her sister: “I wish you’d stop talking. I wish I could throw your mouth in the garbage.”

Me: Here’s your lunch… what do you say?
Eden: Thank you. You’re a gentleman and a scholar.

Eden: “Someone called my sister a butthead”.
Me: “Who did that?”
Eden: “Me.”

Eden to her sister: “There’s a bomb in my head and it’s going to go off in 5 seconds if you don’t stop talking about elf on a shelf.”

Me: “What do you want to be for Halloween?”
Eden: “I want to be Short Round.”
Me: Do I even want to know?”
Ava: “He’s that kid from Indiana Jones.”

Eden: “I don’t want to go to Chipotle. Chipotle is disgusting.”
Me: Bite your tongue. Chipotle is delicious.”
Eden: “You can get a burrito bowl and I’ll just eat the cheese off of it.”

Me: “Eden, who do you love?”
Eden: “I like you, and grandma and papa. But I LOVE me. I’m going to buy me a present.”

Ladies and gentleman, my 5 year old daughter.

What’s the most off-the-wall thing your kid has said?