Sh*t My Seven Year Old Says: Part 4

Hi. It’s me, Eden’s mom. Have you missed us? Eden’s been busy turning 7, learning all the lyrics to Hamilton the musical by heart and faking sick at school 2-3 times a week so I’ll come pick her up. She’s just a normal girl trying to lead a normal life and not let her Internet celebrity go to her head.

I kid. I kid. Her ego couldn’t possibly be any bigger and it’s one of my favorite things about her.

Without further ado….

Just keepin’ it real:

Me: How was school?

Eden: On a scale of 1-13 it was a 2.

Still keepin’ it real:

Eden: my dream house has 43 hot tubs in it.

#TBT. Waterfalls and farts:

Posted by Elena Raines on Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On friends:

Eden: She follows me around like a kitty cat and I’m okay with it.

On equality:

Eden: They’re both girls. They’re married. Don’t make it weird.

The hunger is real:

Eden: I’m SO hungry. All I had for dinner was steak, noodles and a salad. I didn’t even have dessert. I’m upset about it. Sometimes at night I dream about dessert.


Eden: Callie, your feet smell so bad I want to spray Febreeze up my nose.

Life’s important questions:

Eden: Why shouldn’t you eat yellow snow?

Eden just being Eden:

Eden: (pointing to the sky) I think giants live up there.

Me: I thought God lived up there.

Eden: God’s zilla lives up there. It’s God’s pet. You know what I’m saying?

Me: You’re saying God has a pet named Zilla.

Eden: Uh huh.

On being an Internet celebrity:

Eden: So, your friends at work think I’m famous, right?

Make sure to check out Parts 1, 2, & 3 of Sh*T Eden Says!