Hi. It’s me, Eden’s mom. Have you missed us? Eden’s been busy turning 7, learning all the lyrics to Hamilton the musical by heart and faking sick at school 2-3 times a week so I’ll come pick her up. She’s just a normal girl trying to lead a normal life and not let her Internet celebrity go to her head.
I kid. I kid. Her ego couldn’t possibly be any bigger and it’s one of my favorite things about her.
Without further ado….
Just keepin’ it real:
Me: How was school?
Eden: On a scale of 1-13 it was a 2.
Still keepin’ it real:
Eden: my dream house has 43 hot tubs in it.
#TBT. Waterfalls and farts:
Posted by Elena Raines on Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Eden: She follows me around like a kitty cat and I’m okay with it.
Eden: They’re both girls. They’re married. Don’t make it weird.
The hunger is real:
Eden: I’m SO hungry. All I had for dinner was steak, noodles and a salad. I didn’t even have dessert. I’m upset about it. Sometimes at night I dream about dessert.
Eden: Callie, your feet smell so bad I want to spray Febreeze up my nose.
Life’s important questions:
Eden: Why shouldn’t you eat yellow snow?
Eden just being Eden:
Eden: (pointing to the sky) I think giants live up there.
Me: I thought God lived up there.
Eden: God’s zilla lives up there. It’s God’s pet. You know what I’m saying?
Me: You’re saying God has a pet named Zilla.
Eden: Uh huh.
On being an Internet celebrity:
Eden: So, your friends at work think I’m famous, right?