Sh*t My Six Year Old Says: Part 2

Previously on Shit Eden Says: Eden was threatening to throw people’s mouths in the garbage and talking smack on Chipotle (blasphemy). But that was so 2014-ish. She’s since turned 6, which is like 45 in Eden years, and she’s still putting everyone in their rightful place.

Bow down, peasants. 

Valentine’s Day

Eden: Can you tell me how to spell “from your secret admirer?”

Me: No.


Compliments: Eden-style

Eden: Even when you’re dirty and ugly you’re still the most beautiful mama.

Me: I just showered.

Eden: I know. I was just saying, that’s all.


In sympathy

“I’m glad I’m not you. No offense but your life looks terrible.”


The choreographer

“This is my new move. It’s called ‘Deal With It”.


Ever the concerned sister

Teacher: “We need you to sign an accident report. Someone threw a gatorade bottle in the air and it hit Callie in the forehead and left a mark.”

Eden: “Oh man. I really love Gatorade. Was it the red kind?”


Regarding sharing on Fancy Day at school

Me: If someone doesn’t have anything fancy maybe you could share a bracelet with them.

Eden: I don’t have enough to share.

Me: You have 16 bracelets on your hands.

Eden: I think you mean on my arms. Not hands.