Ok, ok, I know the title of this comes off sounding not so jolly and bright but after wrapping presents all day that’s the only thought that came to my mind… why does Santa get all the credit? Before my husband and I had kids we decided, ok I decided, that when we had children Santa would bring them something super lame or less cool than what he and I were giving them. Now let me explain my train of thought…
1. My husband and I work our asses off to not only buy the presents but, hello, I have to wrap them too!
2. When our girls eventually find out Santa isn’t real it won’t be such a big blow, mom and dad gave them the cool presents anyway so in the words of Bob Marley “everything’s gonna be alright,” right?
For the first 4 years of our oldest daughter’s life it worked out fine, she thought Santa gave books and puzzles and Mommy and Daddy were the best parents in the whole wide world because she got that one toy that she was absolutely going to die without. We naively thought “Yes this is going to work!” Then Kindergarten showed up and had to mess it all up.
I remember picking her up after her first day back from winter break, or whatever it is we’re calling it now, and the look on her face was gut-wrenching. Come to find out happy, bright-eyed 5 year old was now on an emotional rollercoaster of doom because she found out that little Miss fellow Kindergartener got a Wii from Santa, a Wii MOM!!! How do you explain to your child that she didn’t do anything wrong to get a puzzle from Santa and her friend got a flippin’ Wii without spilling the “he doesn’t exist” beans?
UGH, I felt awful, called the husband up and let him know what happened. Before I could give him enough time to tell me “I told you so” I hung up the phone, I had to figure out how to fix this. If I played the “maybe her parents couldn’t afford one so Santa got it” I’d look like an asshole who was basically telling her kid that her friend was poor and her parents couldn’t afford the gift (which we obviously know isn’t true, hello a Wii for a 5 year old). I could go down the “maybe she did something naughty” path but there was no way I was going to make her feel bad for me making Santa be cheap. So I did what any logical, analytical parent would do, I made a list, checked it twice, and finally sat her down for a talk.
I looked in to her big brown eyes and said “Sweet Pea I’ve been thinking a lot about this Santa/present situation and I need to be honest with you…” I went on to tell her that I had already bought the thing she asked Santa for so I had to write a letter to the North Pole explaining what I had done and asked him to get her something else off of her list. I went on to say that I told him he could pick any other item because she would be grateful for anything that came from him (yes, I know I laid the guilt down a little bit) I expected tears, maybe some yelling but she just looked at me and said, “ooohhh ok, then next year please don’t get me what I ask Santa for mom, that’s HIS thing, not yours” Needless to say this year Santa is getting her something amazing….
Well played, Santa, well played.
Santa 1, Mommy 0.