Ah, the unrequited crush.
It sucks. It stunk when you were seven years old, and it stunk when you were in the eighth grade. And guess what? It only stinks more the older you get.
So, I met a cute guy on a Saturday night in New York City. When he sat down to talk to me, the instant spark was undeniable. It was unexpected. It was chemistry.
We talked for two hours while the world around us disappeared.
We had the follow-up emails the next day, an exchange of phone numbers with the smooth shift to texting.
We had a good two days of back and forth. It was okay when he said this was a really bad week for him, but next week should be better for us to get together. “And if not,” he poo-pooed, “then definitely after I returned from an upcoming trip.”
His texts were full of exclamation points! A smiley face even! I mean come on, what guy sends you a smiley face if he doesn’t like you?
But then, I didn’t hear from him again. The weekdays slipped into the weekend. The next week came and went. I studied those text messages. Did I misread this? How could I? I’ve had years of practice and I’d learned better, hadn’t I?
So what to do next?
1. Call for reinforcements. Girlfriends are still girlfriends and there’s a reason we’ve commiserated with them since childhood days. So I called my friend Nancy and explained it to her. Just talking it out, saying it out loud, made it less significant. Made it almost funny. Almost.
2. Stop constantly checking my phone. Get out and about. Go to the gym, meet friends for dinner, and get back to work. Send those response emails, set up those meetings, get the manicure.
3. Learn from past mistakes. I could email. I could text. I could get the ball rolling again. But I don’t want to. I’ve done that before and twice I wound up with long term serious relationships that ended in total despair. I want to hold myself to a higher standard.
1. Take the high road. Too often we settle and compromise. Deserve better than that. Be wooed.
2. Focus on what’s next and look away from the rear view mirror of life.
3. Get over it. Rihanna says it best: Don’t let the bastards bring you down.