Helen Mitternight

What The Hell Happened To You?

My bed is next to my closet and the doors of the closet are all mirrors. So, nearly every morning, I wake up and the first thing I see is my own reflection. And let me tell you, it’s a sobering way to start the day.

Now, to be sure, there are some days that I see my reflection and my eyes are all full of sleep and haze and I think, “Damn. Look how cute I am!”

But most days, I see my cheeks sagging pillow-ward, my breasts sliding precipitously into the mattress, and my stomach (when I’ve kicked off the covers) looking like dough that’s risen past the confines of the pan. And I think, “Damn! What the hell happened to you?” READ MORE

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    Oh no, wait, that’s not the question I was going to have you ask yourself (although it IS a valid one).

    The question you should ask yourself is, “Did anyone RSVP?”

    More and more, it seems like the RSVP is ignored. I’m not sure if people get busy and forget, or if RSVP considered a mere suggestion, or if people ignore it because they think it’s just an antiquated leftover from the quaint days of yesteryear (sort of like how we still open letters with “Dear So-and-So,” even if we hate So-and-So’s guts and don’t consider them “dear” even in the slightest). Whatever the case, fewer and fewer people are bothering to répondez, s’il vous plaît these days. READ MORE

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