We declare these things to be self-evident, that every mother, whether she works in the home or out of the home, has certain inalienable rights. That these rights be granted unto her the moment she becomes a mother, with no additional need to justify or prove herself worthy to receive them.

These rights include, but are not limited to:

• The right to sit in silence at least once a day – even if that silence is earned by locking oneself in the bathroom with a pair of Bose noise-cancelling headphones
• The right to order pizza after a long day of work/errands/mommy taxi duties
• The right to leave emails unanswered, laundry undone and dishes unwashed in order to catch the series finale of Desperate Housewives
• The right to ignore her children when they call out for a glass of water/another book/just one more song at 2am
• The right to feel beautiful just the way she is – and to be reminded of such on a regular basis
• The right to take as much care of her own needs as she does the needs of her family and friends
• The right to end a long day with a bowl of cereal and glass of wine rather than a healthy, balanced meal
• The right to splurge on herself on a regular basis – even if it’s just a new lipgloss from Target
• The right to surround herself with female friends who make her feel complete
• The right to feel worthy just the way she is – not 10 pounds from now, after the next promotion or after her kids stop peeing in the bed
• The right to choose to be a mom FIRST, but not a mom ONLY
• The right to say no to the 50th round of hide-and-go seek
• The right to laugh at herself and remember to not take life too seriously
• The right to try again tomorrow

Approach With Caution. This unspoken warning is implicit in every glance you are lucky to get from your teenager. Forget that amazing closeness you once felt. My teenager, and he’s only fourteen, informed me the other day that the only memory he had retained from his “childhood” was that I had once closed his finger in his bedroom window.

I have learned the hard way Read More

As a child, there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t awake to the robust essence of my parents’ morning addiction drifting upstairs from the kitchen.

Though I’ve always adored the pleasant aroma of a fresh pot brewing, I didn’t begin drinking coffee until I was 33. The decade since my affair with coffee began, has been one of the longest surviving loves in my life, second only to my 17 year-old son. Read More

I figure that TV shows and actors live according to dog years. Every single year is equal to seven. So, really we have been doing this show for fifty-six years. I feel that “dog-math” makes saying goodbye a little easier. Because by anyone’s reckoning 56 years is one hell of a run, and of course you can be sad it’s ending, but after 56 years you know it’s time to go. Read More

So we’ve already decided drinking and online dating is a bad idea. Guess what’s an ever worse idea? Yep, drinking and texting. We’ve all done it, we’ve all regretted it… or if you haven’t, please be my friend and make me a more responsible person. Read More