Older Moms Vs. Younger Moms

I’m a mom of a “certain age.” My first daughter was born when I was 39 and my second at 41. I didn’t plan it out that way. It just happened to take me longer to find the man I would marry. (Or, to be honest, one willing to marry my mess-of-a-self.)

Since I started motherhood later than the norm, I find there are several differences in how motherhood is going for me versus moms old enough to be my daughters younger than me. Here’s my (tongue-firmly-implanted-in-cheek) take on older moms versus younger moms:

Child or Grandchild?

Older Mom                                                                        

When people see you with your child, they carefully tiptoe in conversation trying to assess if the child is your child or your grandchild. Some even have the audacity to ask how old your grandchild is, resulting in a real imagined slap across the face.

Younger Mom

People assume the child is yours.

The “Creep”

Older Mom

When you leave your sleeping child’s room, you pray that your joints won’t make a creaking or popping sound as you leave, waking your child, and, ultimately, pissing you off because now you have to convince them go to sleep again.

Younger Mom

When you tiptoe out of your child’s room, you do so without a sound.

Retirement Dreams

 Older Mom

You think retirement won’t happen until your mid- to late-60s, once your children are out of college. Hopefully.

Younger Mom

You are sure you will be able to retire at 55.

Changing Diapers

 Older Mom

You have something in common with your kids. As they learn to potty train out of their diapers, you look at Depends at the grocery store and contemplate buying some for yourself.

Younger Mom

You look forward to not touching another diaper until you have grandkids.

“I’ve Fallen and Can’t Get Up”

 Older Mom

When you get on the ground to play with your kids, you pray someone will help you get up again.

Younger Mom

You get down and up faster than your kids.

Pacifiers

Older Mom

When your child drops a pacifier, you pick it up, wipe it off on your pants, and give it back to your child. You figure that germs are good for your kids.

Younger Mom

When your child drops a pacifier, you replace it with a clean one. Once home, you sterilize the dirty one again. You figure all germs are bad for your kids.

Note Passing

 Older Mom

When you were in high school, you got in trouble for passing notes to your friend. The teacher then read the note to the whole class, letting the whole school know that you had a major crush on the captain of the football team.

Younger Mom

When you were in high school, you got in trouble for texting your friend and had your cell phone confiscated.

Duran Duran

 Older Mom

Your favorite band is Duran Duran, and you’re thrilled if they notice you on Twitter. You raise your kids listening to all the great songs of the 80s.

Younger Mom

You have no clue who or what Duran Duran is. Wait, didn’t your mom mention seeing them in concert once?

High School Dances

Older Mom

Every dance you went to in high school was in the 80s. Your children will attend 80s-themed dances in high school.

Younger Mom

You attended 80s-themed dances, and your children will attend them as well.

Technology

Older Mom

You have used a typewriter, rotary phone, and a black-and-white television at some point in your life.

Younger Mom

What the hell are a typewriter and a rotary phone?  And why would anyone use a black-and-white television?

Facebook

Older Mom

You love reconnecting with people from high school on Facebook. In fact, your 25th reunion would have bombed had it not been for Facebook.

Younger Mom

You avoid Facebook because your parents are on it.

Summer

Older Mom

You don’t worry about cold weather because you have your own “personal” summer daily. Dang hot flashes!

Younger Mom

For you, summer only happens from June through September.

Twenty-Something

Older Mom

In your 20s and early 30s, you went out most weekends and, sometimes, even weeknights to restaurants, clubs, and out with friends. You might have even flown out-of-town for a quick weekend away.

Younger Mom

You spend most of your 20s and early 30s at home with your kids. If you’re lucky, you might be able to get a babysitter for the night or convince your partner to stay home with your kids while you go out with your friends.  Weekends away? What’s that?

This post was originally featured on Denise’s blog, Jayhawk Mom. Photo via