Lies the 1970s Told Us

It seems to me that in life, a person should be able to count on a few things to be true: your mother and the deliciousness of a chocolate croissant.

Other than that, all bets are off.

The problem is that we all get caught-up in the mind-numbing illogic of rumors, advertising, old wives tales, people we want to impress, love, hatred, apathy… google search results. You get my drift.

Well, this is never more evident than when we are young. My youth was filled with bad information, some of which I even believed. Some of it I defended. Some of it I got employment from. Some of it took me out on the town.

Here is a list of out and out lies the 1970’s told us all:

That your grandmother’s cooking was too rich for good health. LIE. Turns out that Grandma was using fresh and whole foods. Grandma didn’t use any ingredients she couldn’t pronounce. Grandma was pretty smart.

That the USA would commit for now and all time to developing space exploration. LIE. Someone forgot to tell JFK about the future expense of a Global Economy, not to mention expanding social services, a weapons race, and the true desire of the population: an expansion of direct streaming cable networks because that’s what’s really important.

Going braless was liberating and beautiful. LIE. More like a idea that could have only come from the mouths of youthful perky boobs without a thought for the results at midlife. Dear God, Woodstock be damned.

Women could have it all. LIE. First of all, what did that mean? Certainly no one in their right mind was suggesting that women should be superhuman and that if they didn’t bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan while nursing a child with one hand and giving a hand*** with the other she wasn’t living up to her full and Universal potential? Nahhhh. No one did that.

Free Love was without consequences. LIE. Unless, of course, you value your health and actually toyed with the idea that you should at least know someones name before you received an STD.

All people are equal. LIE. They are not, but they should receive equal protection, equal initial advantage, equal Rights. What I want to yell at someone about is why I’m not aging like Heidi Klum? Who do I see about that?

Misunderstood, seemingly half-baked Medical advancements would lead to cloning. LIE. Remember that? When LIFE magazine did that article on Dolly the Sheep that said stem cell research would lead to a world full of human robots, because really, could any of us stand more Heidi Klum beauty in the world? (I’m on a Klum kick today).

Traveling was best when done on the cheap– more wholesome, more real. LIE. Book a room at a 5-star and call me.

Vitamin supplements could cure anything. LIE. And yet we still purchase them by the pound. We are a hopeful bunch.

Sun tanned skin was healthy and desirable. Even younger. LIE. Have you seen my skin?

Formal education was unnecessary. LIFE was the best teacher. LIE. This was espoused by young hippie parents who were on the dole from their hardworking parents. Come to think of it….

The Beatles would reunite. LIAR. LIAR. PANTS ON FIRE! But wouldn’t it have been loverly?


This post was originally featured on Cheryl Nicholl’s blog, A Pleasant House. Featured image via.