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Move over Dr. Phil…unless you are going to start asking people to have sex onstage, you are now old news.
Yes, you read that right.
Welcome to Sex Box, an American version of the British reality show. If your husband (like mine) runs screaming from the room at any mention of counseling, this show will really throw him for a loop. WE tv calls Sex Box an “extreme therapy reality concept.”
You don’t say.
Here’s how it works:
1.) Troubled couple arrives on-set to discuss their concerns with a panel of experts, including a relationship therapist, a clinical psychotherapist, a pastor and – perhaps not coincidentally – a comedian, who guides the couple through the experience.
(Most of it.)
2.) Expert panel provide their initial assessment, then instruct couple to go to the camera-free, sound-proof Sex Box and, well, have sex.
3.) When the couple has done the deed, they ring a buzzer and then emerge, once they have composed themselves, to resume the discussion.
4.) The experts continue their analysis, working with a now-more-relaxed couple, and try to solve for x.
The post-nookie conversation is expected to be much more direct and open, based on the theory that the oxytocin released as a result of the “exercise” inspires trust, honesty and intimacy. Said differently, there’s power in the afterglow.
You don’t say.
I, for one, am very interested to know if the show’s producers have considered the following potential kinks in the plan:
1 – Performance Anxiety
Unless you are in your twenties, you can’t always count on the solider to stand at attention, on demand. It’s really going to suck for the guys in this scenario, particularly ones who can’t, er, “focus” under duress.
2 – Forced “relations”
I can only imagine what my husband would say if we had just been psycho-analyzed for 15 minutes, and then were instructed to go and make some love. Is “Let’s just get this over with” foreplay for anyone else? Because it would have to work for me, in this scenario.
3 – How can they prove you didn’t fake it?
Someone, somewhere, is going to be hiding a deck of cards or a couple of iPhones to kill 20-30 minutes instead of actually having sex in the box. You know it’s going to happen. What do they do about the cheaters??
4 – What if you don’t stay in the box long enough?
Let’s be honest…if you’re basically being instructed to have sex, it’s going to be the most perfunctory sex you’ve ever had. Strip down, get everything where it’s supposed to go, bing bang boom, and it’s over. When “Let’s just get this over with” turns into a quickie out of pure, self-conscious necessity, are you going to get penalized for not taking enough time in the box? I guess you’ll find out, along with the rest of America.
5 – What if you stay in the box too long?
What if you and your partner are suddenly inspired by the notion that your problems are about to be solved? What if you are feeling closer than you have in a while, and this kooky new experience heightens that emotion? What if you get so inspired – I mean, there are no kids around, no babysitter waiting, no dog that may wander in – that you decide to completely get down in a way that you haven’t since the early days of pure pleasure? What if you get so carried away that you’re in the box for an hour or more?
6 – WHAT IF THE BOX IS NOT TRULY SOUNDPROOF?
I have no doubt that people will embrace this concept…after all, it is controversial. It is also reality-therapy, a good combo in the States IF you can get people to have sex in a box, on TV. I guess we’ll soon find out; Sex Box premieres Feb. 27 at 10 p.m. ET on WE tv, and is executive-produced by Relativity Television’s Tom Forman and Brad Bishop.
Photo via The Hollywood Reporter.