Recovering post-delivery is tough for us moms. It takes time to jump back in to that place called “The Bedroom,” ready for action. After all, your body has become an out of control milk-producing machine, you have 10 (or more) extra pounds on your frame, and you’re an exhausted mom to a newborn. Who wants to get sexy?
But my friends and I are 2 years, or more, postpartum, and can I say it has gotten easier?
Sure, as time has moved on we’ve shed our postpartum weight and our children now sleep through the night. So days of raging romps in the bed, harkening back to our honeymoon highlights, should be ours for the taking, right?
Nope. For, mamas, we are still exhausted, our bodies still don’t feel like ours, and lazy Saturday mornings once reserved for snuggling with our sweethearts are now the property of 7 am cartoons and Cheerios.
But I am here to tell tired moms everywhere that we CAN get our groove back.
Here are 7 tips to help us moms get back in the bedroom:
1. Take time to take care.
I know that taking the time to get a haircut, schedule an eyebrow wax, or sit for a pedicure can be hard to find. Hell, sometimes finding time to SHOWER can be hard to find. But find it. Nothing will kill your mood faster than realizing you haven’t shaved in 3 days or feeling a stray chin hair in the dark. Sure, your partner might not notice these things, but you have to feel sexy to be sexy. So take time to tend to yourself.
2. Get good underwear.
I mean, if you want to parade around the house in the best lingerie that is great. I am sure your partner will appreciate it just as much as you (see that “feeling sexy to be sexy” point again). But even if garters aren’t in your closet at least throw out the maternity panties.
3. Turn on some mood music.
Drown out all house noises when it is time. You might argue that music is distracting. But if you don’t select some soothing background sounds your finely honed motherly instincts will believe that every single noise you hear is your child. Who can focus then?
4. Make time for it.
If a Google calendar block is what it takes, do it. Don’t let your bedroom activities get crowded out by everything else busy parents need to do. Make this a priority and make time for it. Date nights and weekends away help, if you can arrange them.
5. Be creative.
And I don’t mean that way…Be creative with finding time. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Get going when time surprisingly presents itself. Do your kids still nap? Bingo! Do both of you need to shower? Fantastic! Don’t be shy and think outside the pre-bed nighttime box.
6. Love yourself.
As women and moms we are incredibly hard on our bodies, striving for some unachievable body. You have to love yourself, embrace your body, and thank your body for the fact that it produced life. Don’t see your body as a bunch of negatives; look at the beautiful piece of miracle that is everything about you. Then give it to your partner as a gift.
7. Love your partner.
It takes two to tango. You have to love your partner. Quit looking past your partner to see only your child. Start to notice times when you and your mate are relaxed together, when your partner surprises and amazes you. Whenever you feel that appreciation of and love for your partner, grab it, and run with it (straight to the bedroom).
Moms, these 7 little tips may seem overwhelming but I think we can do them. I think if we take it one step at a time, making time to love ourselves, we can get our groove back.
Oh. Wait, one last thing:
Wine. Lots of wine.
Have a happy week of love.