It was a lot easier to relax when I had no kids.

Forget the fact that I could sleep in every weekend and had complete control over my bathroom privacy. It was really about being responsible for one life – mine. That’s it. It’s much easier to step back and smell the roses when you don’t have to worry about a three-year-old tripping and poking himself in the eye with a thorn, or his five-year-old brother trying to push the damned thing up his nose.

If you ask 10 moms, my bet is that at least 9 would say the same thing (and the 10th would be full of crap). Once the kids come along, it is oh-so-easy to lose track of our want-to-do’s in favor of the never-ending list of have-to-do’s.

Since The BadAssMama is ALL about change this week, I say ENOUGH! A life without joy is a life unlived. So what, you have spit up on one shoulder of every outfit you own. We moms have the right – no, the responsibility to find a bit of joy each and every day. Why? Because we haven’t slept since the Clinton administration. And because our kids will live by the example we set. Do you want to see your little ones grow up to be soul-less, empty-eyed robots maniacally checking off a to-do list that will only be filled to overflowing again come morning? Hell, forget my kids – I don’t want to be that person anymore!

So, like any type-A-borderline-OCD personality, I made a list. Not another to-do list, but a stuff I really, really WANT to-do list. Since I’m looking to make some wholesale changes across the board, I divided my list into each area of my life – self, family, marriage, career, spirituality. I didn’t make any timelines or hard-and-fast rules around the list (that would make it yet another must-do anchor around my neck), but I did try to make my goals specific enough that I had a rough idea of how I might go about achieving them.

It was an extremely exhilarating exercise. I can’t remember the last time that I sat down to think about things that I really wanted to do – just for me. I highly recommend it!

To get you started, I thought that I’d share a portion of my list. Here’s some of what I included in the “Self” section:

1. Enjoy the now
2. Slow down to truly focus on the details of each moment, rather than thinking about what I need to do next
3. Do something frivolously self-indulgent each week (take a bath instead of a shower, get a manicure even though it will chip in 2 days, grab a 10 minute massage while your nails dry)
4. Read novels – not just self-help books
5. Learn to salsa dance REALLY well
6. Connect with one friend each week (Skype, phone call or meal)
7. Plan an annual girlfriend’s getaway