History has taught us that parenthood is a very tiring and trying process. One where even during the good moments, it’s questionable because of the unknown tantrums that are lurking in the midst. Welp… these funny mom tweets make it a little more bearable!
*Emails the Sharktank team.*
You know those little fish that swim with sharks and eat their scraps? Kids need one of those for all their crumbs.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) July 13, 2018
Is there a more torrential occurrence than a toddler’s misplaced angst? 😫
— WhatTheFlicka.com (@WhatTheFlicka) July 17, 2018
Just hand them the iPad.
My husband told me that one day our children will read my tweets.
Thank goodness, because this is the closest thing to a baby book I’ve done.
— InsoMOMniac (@mom_toddler) July 12, 2018
I have a cut on the roof of my mouth and I’m healing it the only way I know how, vodka.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) January 8, 2017
Actual tears 😂
ME: Soon you’ll be inside me.
DOCTOR: It’s spine surgery. Don’t make this weird, Candy.
ME: My safe word is “Painkillers.”
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) February 28, 2018
They earned that rep!
Also toddlers… tale 6 hours to put away 3 toys but 5 minutes to pull everything they own out of everywhere…
Theres a reason I call my 3 year olds twinnados.
— Rebecca Thompson (@Momof3gngrs) July 8, 2018
Life comes at you fast.
Him: What time are you picking up the kids?
Me: I’ll leave as soon as I rinse the blood off my car.
Me: What? *click*
— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) August 2, 2016
Anything for pizza, TBH.
Life hack: If you tell the pizza delivery person “Thanks so much, you’re making our Pajama Day awesome!” when you and your toddler answer the door in pj’s, you transform from the mom who couldn’t get her shit together into the fun mom who hosts theme days.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 5, 2018
It’s been established that kids repel shoes actually.
Lies your children tell:
These shoes fit.
I love these shoes.
These shoes are my favorite.
I will wear these shoes.
— your mom (@eff_yeah_steph) July 13, 2018