After our daughter was born, my husband and I went from sweet pillow talk to poop talk, especially during her first year. I chronicled one of those conversations not long after the little hummingbird was a year old and this is the kind of conversation my hubby and I would have every night.

A night in the life of two party animal parents. The hubby comes home from work…

Him: Did she poop today?
Me: She did earlier this morning.
Him: What was it like?
Me: Oh, it was like rabbit pellets so that means she probably has another one coming later.
Him: She didn’t poop yesterday.
Me: No, actually she did, twice.
Him: Really? What were they like?
Me: The first one was really mushy. Good thing she was wearing a onesie or else it could have leaked. I was pretty impressed AND it took three diaper wipes.
Him: Wow, that is impressive! What about the second one?
Me: That one was more of a ball.
Him: What was the color like?
Me: It was dark brown, but she must not have chewed her steamed carrots very well because there were orange lumps in it.
Him: What did she have for lunch?
Me: She ate mac n’ cheese, avocado, and crackers, but she didn’t care for her sliced bananas.
Him: We’ll let her have a banana break this week, maybe then she’ll want them next week.
Me: We should make sure to get some blueberries when we go to the store since she’s really liking them lately.
Him: Did the cat do anything today?
Me: How am I supposed to know what the cat did? I barely had time to pee.

After hubby puts her to bed….

Me: Did she go to sleep right away?
Him: Yeah, she was a tired little girl.
Me: Did she drink her whole bottle?
Him: Almost, but she was falling asleep.
Me: Did you make sure to put lotion on her cheeks? I noticed they were a little dry.
Him: Yes.
Me: But did you remember to rub it in this time?
Him: I rubbed the lotion in.
Me: Did you brush her hair?
Him: Yesssss!
Me: Okay, just asking because I know how you forget. Do you have the baby monitor?
Him: It’s already downstairs.
Me: Do you want to watch Weeds?
Him: Sure.
Me: Did you hear that? I think she’s still up. Maybe we should wait to watch Weeds until we know that she’s asleep.
Him: Let me go check.

A few minutes later…

Him: Well she’s awake and bouncing around in her crib.
Me: But is she happy or was she whining. Because if she was whining then maybe we should hold off on watching Weeds.
Him: She seemed happy. If we’re going to watch it tonight then we better do it now since it’s getting so late (8pm).
Me: I can’t find the new episode on the DVR.
Him: Let me see the remote.
Me: I think I know how to work a remote.
Him: I know, I just want to see something.
Me: Fine, but I’m telling you it’s not on the DVR. I think I forgot to record it.
Him: Then it should be On Demand….. I don’t see it on here though.
Me: Oh! I remember, they skipped last week.

My husband walks upstairs to get ready for bed. I go to the kitchen, grab some chocolate and start watching Sweet Home Alabama for the millionth time. Not long after, I hear the hubby upstairs snoring like a bear.

Total party animals….