Just spent a few great days with two of my closest friends from college. We talked and talked to the point where your back teeth cut into your tongue so much it physically hurts. What did we talk about? Everything. Work transitions. Midlife crises. Eating healthy. Exercise. You know how girls get…
We also talked about dating and relationships; ones that have failed and ones that have gone through tough times. Luckily, it wasn’t all reminiscing and we went out several times to be social, and laughed plenty along the way. And I learned quite a few things as well.
1. If you’re going out on the town and want to meet people, take someone with you who balances out your nature. I need to bring along a friend who is good at the icebreaker conversation, the one who’s not afraid to ask, “So, do you come to this bar often?” – totally oblivious to the groans. You have to love those friends, because then they open the door for someone like me who’s better at the back-end. I need a little time to settle in and hear a little talk before I find my public voice. If I go out with another conversation back-ender like me, we will likely just sit at the bar and talk between ourselves all night. Purpose defeated.
2. If you’re serious about online dating, skip right to Picture #2. One of my friends is gung-ho about the potential of online dating. She sat there, gaga-ing over those first pictures and profiles you’re shown before you sign up. So then we had her log in to see what it was really about. She gave up reading the profiles almost immediately. Okay, picture #1 oftentimes looked decent; a little blurry, a little distance , but then scroll on down to the next picture… and, BAM! Not good.
3. Think like Jackie-O. I can’t change my nature. I’m a romantic, but that’s not always a good thing. Romantics fall for the fate of the encounter, for the immediacy of it, for the desire of it – they may not see things clearly with that hazy glaze over their eyes. So it’s important to have a call-upon to help re-evaluate where your feet are in the situation. Something that lets reality creep in and clear away the romantic fog. For me, that’s usually finding my inner Jackie-O. What would she do in this situation? I can feel quite confident in saying she surely never played easy to get!
1. Thank god for our friends, especially girlfriends. For all the heart aches, the work aches, and the life aches we go through, these are the people who stand by our side and listen over and over and find the humor and the sense in things. These are the people who remind us that no matter how low life hits us, we are not alone.
2. Make time for your friends. Set up that group outing or even a one-nighter in a convenient city. Just a little time together can erase years of separation and bring you right back to where you always were.
3. When it comes to matters of the heart, don’t be pessimistic or even optimistic. Just put your intention out there for the universe and what you need will eventually find you. Be open. In the meantime, find the laughter and the joy in your day. Remember you’re alive.
This post was originally featured on Jody’s blog, Got Ennui?