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Felicitations: What I Hope I Don’t Repeat in 2013

Happy New Year!

I always feel as if the New Year really starts in September. I am not sure what went into the decision to make it January 1st, probably really smart people have tons 0f irrefutable evidence about why January makes more sense, but it seems really random to me. September makes much more sense.

But as I said Happy New Year!

I used to make all sorts of New Year’s resolutions; they usually included losing 10 pounds and getting a part in a Woody Allen film. But Woody has yet to call, and I am the same size I have always been.

So, to play it safe and to put to use the old adage, “Making mistakes is the only way you learn,” I put together a list of things that I hope never happen again.

What I Hope I Don’t Repeat In 2013:
1. Burning my daughter’s ear really badly with the curling iron, after getting mad at her for being scared I was going to burn her ear really badly.
2. Pooping on the recovery table at my inaugural colonoscopy. Then having to call over the male nurse and say, “I pooped on the table… sorry.”
3. Getting really drunk at The Golden Globes with my bff Sarah Paulson and laughing so hard I almost peed in my pants (it was a gown) and literally falling on my face. (Okay, that one was actually fun.)
4. Losing my daughter for two hours on a mountain biking trail, I thought she had been abducted, my husband thought she had been eaten by a bear.
5. Watching my friend lose his wife to breast cancer.
6. Witnessing the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.
7. Watching the headlines as another school shooting takes place.
8. Having elected officials who say and believe in things like “legitimate rape” and “God’s plan.” Let’s finally agree that God has no plan for rape, legitimate or otherwise. (And really, what is legitimate rape?)
9. Losing my car in underground parking over and over and over again. If stress could be measured in pounds I have carried a small Mack truck looking for my damn car. The upside is I made a lot of good friends who work in underground parking structures all over L.A. and I am very comfortable riding around in golf carts clicking my key.
10. Having a “take-a-picture-of-your-butt” party with my two girls and then actually seeing what my butt looks like from behind. I have memory burn from that one, but the lighting was really bad, and my butt was really tired.

Have a happy, blessed New Year.

PS. This is Felicitations #1; Part Two, is coming tomorrow — unless you are subscribed to my newsletter; then you’ve already received Part Two in your inbox this morning!

Cheers!

Flicka

 

*Editor’s Note: Felicitations is a monthly letter from Felicity Huffman that premieres in our Newsletter before being published on the site. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter for other exclusives, updates, and giveaways from WhatTheFlicka.com.

THE AUTHOR

Felicity Huffman is the youngest of eight children. By the time she came along her mother had run out of family names (there are 2 Jessie’s, 3 Grace’s, 2 Jane’s, 3 Moore’s, and the list continues), so she was called “Flicka”. The name “Felicity” was added as an afterthought because you can’t go around life with a nickname ...

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