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Ellen Etten

Don’t Drink & Text: The Rules

So we’ve already decided drinking and online dating is a bad idea. Guess what’s an ever worse idea? Yep, drinking and texting. We’ve all done it, we’ve all regretted it… or if you haven’t, please be my friend and make me a more responsible person. I am the queen of what an ex-boyfriend referred to as “text suicide.” This involves me sending a text, not receiving an immediate response, and proceeding to send a slew of increasingly angry/awkward/intense texts that turn a simple, “What’s going on?” into a weird one-sided argument that I always, always regret.

Because I am such a careless texter, I have devised some helpful tricks to remind myself not to hit “send” in the moment:

1. After 9 pm, wait until the morning and see if you still would send the text.

2. Remember that texting an ex is rarely a good idea.

3. If you have to get it off your chest, send the text to a girlfriend first and see if she thinks it’s appropriate.

4. Ask yourself if you’d make a phone call to the person. If not, don’t text.

5. My favorite: Recently I changed the contact name of a long-time crush in my cell phone to: “DO NOT TEXT”

It has worked wonders.

Any other Drinking and Texting horror stories? Tips?

THE AUTHOR

Ellen Etten is an actress, writer, and serial dater in Los Angeles. She recently wrote and starred in the webseries “LA’d” based on her online dating experiences, which you can watch at www.ellensdatinglife.com. Ellen is a proud graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts where she studied at The Atlantic Theater Company. Please contact her with any ...

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