I have never been obsessed with getting married. Never looked at wedding magazines, never fantasized about it, I can’t even remotely tell you what my dress might look like – thinking turquoise green would be fun? So I felt nothing but pure excitement when my best friend’s boyfriend was surprising her with an elaborate proposal and a trip to Paris to boot.
To kill some time the day of the proposal, I decided I might as well sign myself up for an online dating site (what? I really wasn’t freaking out about being alone for the rest of my life; for real). I wrote my witty profile, picked some cute pictures, put my credit card info in, hit “Find Love Now,” and boom! I was signed up… but for how long? How much was finding love costing me? I checked my bank statement…
I had been charged a whopping 96 dollars and signed up for the dating site for A YEAR. A YEAR?! WHAT THE…! Who online dates for a year?? Who HOPES to online date for a year? I was suddenly screaming at the computer, sweating, cursing the whole pathetic idea. I called Citibank and screamed at a polite man in India that, “I’m not going to need to online date for a year, sir, why would I ever sign up for that??” He calmly asked me what my claim was.
I realized I was having a Kristen Wiig moment a la Bridesmaids. It was really hot in the room and my claim mostly had to do with being alone for the rest of my life while my best friend was in Paris, in love….
There is a happy ending to this tale, just like there was for Kristen, though mine unfortunately doesn’t involve a Wilson Phillips song. I got a refund, the engagement was perfect, and my best friend is still my best friend, engaged or not.
Now I just have to begin the free month of online dating I was given after all my screaming….
Does this post look familiar? We’re bringing back some of our favorite posts from 2012. Stay tuned for more!