It is next-to-impossible to relax when you are constantly bracing for impact.

Let me explain.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting on the need for more peace in my life – particularly in my home. By peace, I really mean quiet, stillness, lack-of-busyness-and-general-hysteria. A tall order with two-under-the-age-of-five, but a noble goal nonetheless.

I can’t remember what I was reading last night, but it struck me to my core. This article proposed that women, especially mothers, are constantly bracing for impact. We clench our bellies waiting for the proverbial punch in the gut; hold our breath hoping the day goes by without incident or accident. Whisper silent prayers for safety and silence.

This act of thinking and planning ahead can be a good thing. It helps us to get our families where they need to be, with the all of things they need to do whatever it is that they are doing. It keeps us fed, properly clothed, and provided for. But it can also make us crazy. It is IMPOSSIBLE to relax when you are always bracing for impact. You cannot enjoy this moment when you are constantly planning for the next one. You cannot exhale while you are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am nothing if not an advanced planner. I make it a habit to think and prepare 10 steps ahead, and have always followed the philosophy of “I’d rather have and not need than need and not have” when it comes to preparing for potential catastrophes – both real and perceived. I also have an almost complete lack of ability to enjoy the moment – to live in the now.

I’m beginning to think that this constant desire to be prepared is the source of my utter lack of peace. I try so hard to prepare for every contingency, to plan ahead, to “save” everyone, that my days are spent focused on everything that might go wrong, instead of truly appreciating everything that is marvelously right in my world.

Now that’s an ah-ha moment for you…