The Best of Sh*t Eden Says

The unfiltered brain of a child knows no bounds.

Even though most of the time we probably shouldn’t laugh, we can’t help but be amused at the bizarre and hilarious things our kids say.

If you aren’t familiar with “Sh*t My Six (Now Seven) Year Old Says” allow us to introduce you. Here’s the best of hilarious Eden’s quotes. If you can make it through this list without unattractively snort-laughing, we applaud you!

On when people just don’t know when to stop talking:

Eden to her sister: “I wish you’d stop talking. I wish I could throw your mouth in the garbage.”

On making references far beyond her age:

Me: Here’s your lunch… what do you say?

Eden: Thank you. You’re a gentleman and a scholar.

Hey, she’s just being honest:

Me: “Eden, who do you love?”

Eden: “I like you, and grandma and papa. But I LOVE me. I’m going to buy me a present.”

You’ve got to appreciate the truth:

Eden: Even when you’re dirty and ugly you’re still the most beautiful mama.

Me: I just showered.

Eden: I know. I was just saying, that’s all.

We can’t handle her hilarious observations:

“I’m glad I’m not you. No offense but your life looks terrible.”

On dance moves we’d all love to learn:

“This is my new move. It’s called ‘Deal With It”.

An honest review of a teacher:

Eden: We had a substitute today. She was REALLY old but she didn’t die or anything.

A girl after our own hearts!

Me: Pack a snack for the car ride.

Eden: I did. It’s bacon.

Felicity Huffman's What The Flicka-Best Sh-t Eden Says 2

Same girl, same.

Eden: My dream house has 43 hot tubs in it.

On equality:

Eden: They’re both girls. They’re married. Don’t make it weird.

Eden is all of us at the end of the day:

Eden: I’m SO hungry. All I had for dinner was steak, noodles and a salad. I didn’t even have dessert. I’m upset about it. Sometimes at night I dream about dessert.

Eden, you’re a true gem and we’re obsessed with you.

Eden: (pointing to the sky) I think giants live up there.

Me: I thought God lived up there.

Eden: God’s zilla lives up there. It’s God’s pet. You know what I’m saying?

Me: You’re saying God has a pet named Zilla.

Eden: Uh huh.

Read parts 1, 2, 3, and 4!