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WARNING: This post contains adult content and will not be understood by those who do not have an excessive amount of children who sleep anywhere other than their own beds…
A while back, Felicity (Flicka) posted about a special retreat she had created in her home. After reading this, I got to thinking…where’s my retreat? I can’t relax in the bathroom – we all know that’s a kid’s favorite place to strike up serious conversation with mommy. I can’t relax in the office – too many things provoke my workaholic demeanor. My bedroom no longer belongs to me since the procreation of my spawn…WTFlicka??? I need a retreat!
The Husband and I started out on this quest called “parenthood” with good intentions of keeping the kids in their own rooms, sleeping in their own beds. HA! that lasted about a minute. Our once blissful sanctuary and king size bed had become a meeting place for “the beasts” and with each seizing of our personal space they brought with them noise, bed-jumping, bed-wetting, and feet all over the place. While their presence in the bed was excellent birth-control, it placed restrictions on the fun that could have resulted and the peace that was much needed. And so the mission began.
Skimming through my old Feng Shui books and busting out the candles, I slowly but surely turned the old room into a retreat the husband and I could get lost in for a few hours. In my quest for peaceful personal space, I discovered from the ZEN Masters that I would need to create a bedroom that promotes a harmonious flow of nourishing and sensual energy…something fun and pleasurable to be in, either for a quick nap, a good night’s sleep or to make passionate love minus the procreation of more beasts. Given the limited amount of resources I had to begin this quest, here is what resulted…
I started by clearing out all the unnecessary junk that caused me anxiety: the clothes on the floor, the random candy wrappers on my vanity, anything belonging to the kids, the stacks of randomness that I had intended to get to months ago…Lesson #1 in creating a retreat, GET RID OF YOUR JUNK! And if you don’t think it’s junk or have a hard time parting with it, ask yourself, “When is the last time I used this, is it necessary?” If the answer is NO, it most likely can be thrown away without being missed. JUNK PROVOKES ANXIETY ladies.
Then, I brought out the goods I wanted/needed: the candles to warm up the energy and help release daily stress; enlightening and engaging books by my bedside. Lesson #2, get some inspiring reads and set them nearby. If you don’t have aspirations then you need inspiration, and reading is a good place to start…
Next, my vanity got a make-over and became laced with things that make me smile…a picture of my babies, a rad miniature camel (Husband promises he will buy me a real one someday) to make me laugh, and lots of and small and simple containers to keep my make-up brushes and all the necessities in the bathroom organized. Lesson #3, notice the keyword: necessity. I kept only what was necessary out on the counters for day-to day functioning and I organized the necessities to avoid useless product over-stimulation of the mind…it’s a real syndrome. Promise ; ]
Finally I invited the crew back into the room that they had spent their nights in – watching TV, wrestling with dad, peeing on mom in the middle of the night…oh the memories – and went over the new ground rules. They said their goodbyes and became acquainted with their own beds that evening…what peace! Thank you Zen Masters of the feng shui world, let’s see how long this lasts…
Points to Ponder:
1. Do you feel at peace in your room? Does your space invite, lure, excite and calm you at the same time? If not, maybe you need to create a retreat. And can start by GETTING RID OF YOUR JUNK!
2. Do you have necessary items in your room? In this quest for peaceful personal space, I realized that children weren’t a necessity for my room and they could be safe and content in their own beds. *I promise, kicking your kids out of your bed will not destroy their childhood. They will forgive you. Kicking out the beasts, made room for what was necessary, like a healthy and frequent sex-life with the husband ;]
3. Find out what makes you content…not everyone’s idea of retreat is the same. Do some soul-searching and create a space that works for you…keeping your partner in mind of course, it’s his room too! : )
4. Make a retreat for the kids too, that way, everyone is happy and has a place/space to enjoy.