Baby-Wearing When Your Child Is An Elephant

Today’s topic is baby wearing. Because babies are in fashion all year round. They have to be. If they aren’t, they become one more thing to haul around and take up space in your grocery cart. Ultimately preventing you from buying x amount of gallons of ice cream—which you’ll need to wallow in the fact that you just ripped your pants because they aren’t maternity, and you still are.

So, the only other alternatives to baby wearing are:

Prop the baby in the front seat of the cart, holding them with one hand while using the other hand to try and steer a cart that only turns left.

Put the car seat carrier in the cart and kiss any room for your ice cream goodbye. In fact, kiss anything that isn’t a few apples and a bag of baby carrots goodbye, because carriers today are large enough to safely transport a baby elephant.

Wear your baby. Unless it’s an elephant.

I’ve spent the last several months test driving the Unison Newborn Carrier by Infantino to see how it worked. Despite the challenges of toting around a baby the size of a sumo wrestler, I found it easy to use and extremely comfortable. Here’s what I loved most about it:

It’s made with the same stretchy, snuggly material as a Moby or Ergobaby. So, you can snug your baby like you have your very own marsupial pouch, but without the goo inside. Or a joey. Because nothing would be more upsetting to an over-exhausted parent than having a baby kangaroo jump out of their baby carrier.

It’s structured with buckles. It was nice to be able to quickly get the carrier on and off without having to perform an interpretive dance of the ever-frustrated parent.

It has adjustable panels on the side that create a narrow seat for a newborn. As baby grows, the panels expand making more room for your baby and his joey. Panel adjusting is important for two reasons:

1. If you have an itty bitty five-pound baby, she can be tight and snug against your body.

2. If your baby was like mine and was a newborn around 30 weeks gestation, the panels stretch out. This means you can keep him close enough for snuggles, but far enough away that you both don’t generate enough body heat to start a fire.

There’s no strategy involved. You just slide baby’s legs right into the leg holes. You don’t have to spend forty minutes awkwardly moving baby leg around, playing “Is this a leg hole or just a space between a snap and a strap?”

It’s lightweight. Which makes it less bulky. Which is good. Because my baby has the bulk of many carriers. Millions.

It’s comfortable. It’s serious business when you have a baby carrier that straps on like a Nascar harness. The harness straps are for support and comfort. In addition, there’s also a band that wraps around your waist for stability, comfortable, and confidence boosting—while hiding your post-baby muffin fat.

It’s washable. Really, what parent doesn’t love that?

My super-sized son is maxing out the length and weight limit now. So, our time with Newborn Carrier is coming to an end. Now that my little guy can support his head, he’s able to face forward and is just as comfortable as before. But, soon, he won’t fit into it at all. Then, the Unison Newborn Carrier will be left to join me at the grocery store so that I can tote around a couple gallons of ice cream.

Photo via. Disclosure: All products used above were sent from Infantino. I was not compensated for this post, and all thoughts—as ridiculous as they are—are my own.