For my job, I go to many unusual places. But this was the most unusual I had been in. On this day, we were in a strip club.

I’ve never been in one before, but this didn’t look anything like the ones in the movies. Aside from the naked women in every direction, this place actually looked like a sports bar. Big screens showing baseball and sports scores, brightly lit, some people were eating dinner. But there was no way to ignore all the naked women.

The first woman who really caught my eye—she wasn’t at all what I expected. I was looking at her rear and it was soft. And when I looked at her back and the rest of her body, I saw love handles and jiggly thighs and a not-so-great tattoo. But the guy she was giving her attention to—he was happy. Very, very happy.

There were girls in there with big boobs, small boobs, fake boobs, round stomachs, small butts, big butts, no butts…no two girls looked remotely like the others. And all of these men were very, very happy.

Now we could say it was because the guys were drunk, or because all the women were NAKED, but what I couldn’t help but think about was—not one of the them looked like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. And the guys were happy.

I’m not a skinny girl. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life. My adult life is filled with insecurity about whether men will find me attractive. I always thought that if the guy liked me and my personality enough, then he wouldn’t mind the body.

But there I was, staring at more naked bodies than I had ever seen, and I realized that there was room for all of us.

So I got home and started to get ready for bed. And I saw myself in the mirror and stared. Boobs—nice size, but no one would have to guess real or fake with me (life, age and breastfeeding took care of that), but they are still pretty good. Stomach—rounder than I’d like. Never had much of a tummy before my son was born. Always had hips and thighs, but the tummy is new.

And of course, on me, what no one in the strip club had—a surgical scar across my lower abdomen. The one that has allowed the doctors to go in me three times and the one from which my beautiful son emerged from my body. The indelible line that life has left on my body, just as smiles and laughter have left the lines next to my eyes.

So I looked at myself and thought, “I’m not 20. I would not get hired as a stripper, as if that was something I’d be contemplating anyway. But I’m attractive. Not to everyone…but if I was dancing in that bar, someone would want to look at me.”

So I guess there’s room for all of us. We don’t need to look like Demi Moore in Striptease to turn a guy on. We just need to be naked.

Editor’s note: Sabrina’s new show “Devious Maids” will be airing on Lifetime Sundays at 10 PM starting on June 23. Be sure to check it out!

[Editor's note: This post is part of Sabrina's "Road to the Half-Ironman" series. See part one here.]

When I was in high school, Mike, a boy who lived on my street, decided he was going to lose weight. So he woke up every morning at 5 AM, then he ran and lifted weights. He got himself in great shape. Every time I start a new workout routine, I always follow in Mike’s footsteps. I set my alarm for 6 am. Just need to be on the treadmill and running by 6:15. No problem. Easy. Piece of cake.

And it is. For the first day. And the second. Maybe the third. And then I convince myself I’ll workout at lunch. Which probably won’t happen. I lie to myself and I choose to believe it because then I don’t have to get out of bed. I love my bed. I could spend all day in my bed.

But the bed isn’t really the problem, is it? As someone who follows a face cleaning regime for awhile and then sleeps in my make-up everyday for a month… As someone who will spend a week cleaning up after myself every night, then weeks leaving a trail of old clothes and other stuff all over the house… Someone who will answer every email and stay on top of all correspondence and then will let it lie for months… I’m just really inconsistent.

But what’s the harm, right?

Except that when I went to get a test to help me prep for the months of training ahead, I found out that I’ve been training too hard for my body. It’s why I haven’t gotten stronger and better. Something I could have avoided if I had only been consistent in my workouts.

To fix this, I must workout CONSISTENTLY 5-6 days a week for the next two months per the schedule that was laid out by the coach. I’ll be retested in December. And if I have done my work correctly, the test will show it. If I don’t do my work correctly, I might not be ready for the half-ironman in July. So I need inspiration and I’ve found it in two people in my life. Very different kinds of support but both very powerful.

One – I have a friend on the east coast whom I text when I wake up. “Tell me to get out of bed.” And I get back some kind of inspirational message – “Stop being such a lazy butt and get up!” And the texting doesn’t stop until I say that I’m on the treadmill.

Two – I focus on my son. He’s 9. I need to show him what daily dedication looks like. I want to give him something to model.

I’m only two weeks in. It’s been crazy hard. I’m tired. And I love my bed. But when that alarm goes off, I realize it’s time. Time to show my friend who is texting me that I’m worth supporting, time to show myself that I can stick to something and it’s time to show my son that daily efforts can lead to amazing rewards.

So WTFlicka readers – Day 16, done. Wish me luck. I need it — 261 days to go!

How do you stay consistent?

I am clearly Banana Pants Crazy. I have just registered for Vineman 70.3, a half-ironman race on July 14, 2013. A half-Ironman is a 1.2 mile swim, a 56 mile bike, and a 13.1 mile run. Clearly – Banana Pants Crazy.

But I think everyone should have something that they are doing that’s Banana Pants Crazy. Or at least a little out of their comfort zone. Or just not the same thing we are doing every day all the time. Because it reminds us we’re alive.

When my divorce started a few years ago, I woke up to realize that I had stopped being ME. Whoever “me” was had disappeared under all the other things I had been – wife, mother, employee, boss, child, friend…. And, as I went through my divorce and the pain of ripping apart my life, I found a renewal. I wanted to be ME. But I didn’t know where to look.

Even though I have never been an athlete, I joined Team in Training for the 2011 Malibu Triathlon. It was hard. While training, I had my first ever panic attack. And then I had two more. The mentors and the coaches kept telling me that although I was way out of my comfort zone, I was strong enough to do this. I even showed up at practice once, crying hysterically, saying to my coach “You don’t know me very well, but I’m never like this. I’m an Executive Producer of a TV show.” (Strangest words that have ever left my body). But pushing myself through the mental, I finished. I had finished the greatest goal I ever set for myself. Through it, I was able to redefine for myself what I am capable of. Anything. I now believe I am capable of anything. Because what seemed Banana Pants Crazy was now possible.

Gotta have a new goal. Vineman 70.3. Half-Ironman. 1.2 mile swim. 56 mile bike. 13.1 mile run.

Training for it is going to be so hard. 9 months. 5-6 days a week. While I am still a mom. And I will still be an Executive Producer of a TV show. I will still have to commute 1½ hours a day. I will still have friends and obligations and days I don’t feel well…. That’s why this is totally without question BANANA PANTS CRAZY. But it makes me feel like ME. And so I have to do it. Clearly.

[Editor's Note: Sabrina Wind will be writing regularly, documenting her journey preparing for a half-ironman.]

She said, “You are a failure.”

And I think – why would you say that to me? I am a mom who is an executive producer on tv shows, owns my own home, takes care of my family and in my spare time has taken to doing marathons and triathlons.

But she continued, “You are overweight which makes you a bad example for your child. You never stick to a diet. You never stick to your workout routine. You lack consistency in anything you do. If you just used a little willpower, you’d actually succeed.”

I think but don’t say: Sure I could lose 20 pounds, but I think I look okay. And I wish I could stick to one of those diets, but I get angry and cranky. So I let myself cheat a little to make it through everything. And the lack of consistency matches the lack of consistency in my life. I have a long commute to a job with crazy hours and there’s no constant. I’m doing the best that I can.

“All you need to do is try harder. If you really put your mind to it…”

This is Anti-Bullying Month. It’s an interesting concept. Because I need to learn to stand up to her. I need to find a way to say: it’s not ok to invalidate me. I work very hard to succeed at all that I do and I do a damn good job. So you and your high horse can go take a flying leap because I feel good about myself and you aren’t going to take that away from me.

But I can’t stop her. She keeps picking on me, despite my pleading.

Because my Bully is me.

In my life, there has never been anyone harder on me than me. The dark voices that tell me that I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, that I don’t try hard enough, I’m not attractive, I’m not funny enough, interesting enough, smart enough, nice enough, I don’t do all I can do for myself and others….

My Bully is driving me insane.

I’m 44 years old. It’s time for the Bully inside to go away. It’s time for me to look at all I’ve accomplished and embrace it. To decide once and for all – what’s truly important and let the rest go. It’s time for me to cherish what makes me tick – to embrace my odd habits and accept that as me. Or to change them. But to commit one way or the other.

It’s time to say – this is my life. It’s the only one I’m given, like it or not. So I need to choose how I live each and every day. No more bullying. From now on, I will look at myself and say “Love it or change it.” No beating myself up over anything. I need to love myself, for all that I’m about.

Wish me luck. Screw that. Only I can do that for me. Thanks though.