I Ain’t No June Cleaver

I Am Not June Cleaver

I think June Cleaver is what many people expect stay home moms to be like.

It’s not really like that.

My house runs much differently than the Cleaver’s. First off, my sons names aren’t Wally and Beaver. Second, I don’t have any sons.

1. My pastimes don’t include needlepoint or arranging tea roses.
When people come to my house I’m not chopping salad vegetables, basting a rump roast or icing a cake.

I’m scrambling around the house trying to find places to hide clutter and using my sock to clean the floor.

2. We don’t use our dining room.
Unlike the Cleaver’s, we eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the kitchen table. Sometimes on it. Our dining room table is reserved for collecting dust and accumulating stuff.

3. The Cleaver’s home furnishings include traditional decor.
Like Gainsborough’s Blue Boy and reprints of Monet, the Cleaver’s household style is upper class.

Our walls are adorned with the works of Crayola, dried spaghetti noodles and an Elk head. Our couch is lightly coated in cracker crumbs held together by week old juice spills.

4. June is ladylike.
She’s formal in appearance with perfectly placed hair and tastefully applied makeup.

I consider jeans dressing up, simply because they’re not made out of fleece or spandex. I wear makeup mostly to hide how tired I look. Since I apply it while half asleep, I would say it communicates “survival” over “style.”

5. Dressed to impress.
June wears dresses, skirts, pressed blouses and sweaters with heels. She also wears pearls in almost every episode, even when doing house work and gardening.

I wear slippers. A lot. And I don’t garden.

6. Separate sleeping space
June and Ward sleep in twin beds.

This actually isn’t a bad idea.

7. Running Errands
Occasionally you’ll see her driving the family car, if she has a specific errand.

I’d like to know how one gets to the point to where they only need to run a specific errand. Occasionally. I have to go to the grocery store so much that my kids think the electronic horse is theirs.

8. House Help
June sometimes has house help, to help with cleaning and laundry.

I also have occasional house help too. If it weren’t for them there would be nothing to clean.

Photo courtesy of wellcomehistory.

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