Age Gaps in Relationships: Making It Work

People make a lot of fuss about “summer-winter relationships” but the fact is that they can be enjoyable and fulfilling – if occasionally challenging – for both parties in the couple.

The Advantages of an Age Gap
When you’re in a relationship with someone from a different generation, there are many benefits. The younger partner can learn from their other half’s maturity and life experience. This can be particularly useful in situations where, if they had been left to their own devices, the more innocent party might have screwed up.

For his part, the older partner gets to enjoy the energy, youth and liveliness of their spring chicken “toy” boy or girl! I’m not trying to say that us more mature ladies and gentlemen don’t know how to let our hair down – it’s just that having someone young around can give you a real boost of energy, and keep us up-to-date on the latest trends. Your friends will feel this burst of energy as well – it’s infectious!

Another big advantage is that being with someone younger pushes you to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You might be getting healthy just to remain seductive or so that the age gap isn’t so obvious, but you’ll reap the health benefits all the same. And it’s never a bad thing to give ourselves, our body and our appearance more attention!

The Drawbacks – and How to Deal with Them
For all the good stuff we get in an age gap relationship, belonging to different generations can sometimes be a weakness.

It can be hard to be on the same page about things. One person’s maturity and experience comes up against incomprehension. To add insult to injury, the younger party might find their partners “wisdom” embarrassing, as they just don’t get where their coming from. For example; the older partner might spend time agonizing over the consequences of a relationship with someone younger, while the latter might be solely concerned with living this love as intensely as possible, without spending too much time reflecting on the potential fallout among family and friends.

On top of this, it’s not always easy to get in sync with your partner when he or she is ten years younger and seems to never run out of steam. The younger party in the couple will want to go out all the time, dance all night, see the latest movie, go on exciting, noisy vacations… whereas the older party’s idea of a good time might be bed by ten in front of Netflix. Once the first heady burst of passion in the relationship wears off, this kinds of differences can raise their head.

Of course, we’re generalizing here – these are not rules by any stretch of the imagination – and they are also differences a lot of couples of the same age experience… though we must admit they seem to crop up more often when an age gap’s involved.

Finally, the big one: kids. The question of whether or not you’re going to have children is one that tends to creep up on people. You really must give this nonnegotiable aspect of your relationship some serious thought. A younger man with a partner who is nearing the onset of menopause for example needs to think about this. His partner might find herself unable to offer him the child that he wants. The lack of desire in one partner to have a child as they already have a child of their own is another big one. This is a subject which can’t be neglected in a couple. It is at the beginning of a relationship, when you begin to feel that things could become serious, that you need to think about this issue. Often the future of the couple depends on it.

Photo courtesy of Huffpost.