1.) Whether you breastfeed your six-year-old
2.) Or never breastfed at all because formula just seems less gross than attaching a miniature person to your boob.
3.) What your baby’s hair looks like (looking at you Beyonce)
4.) Whether you circumcised your son
5.) How clean your kids are
6.) How clean your house is
7.) How stained your clothes are
8.) Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or work outside the home
9.) What kind of birth you had. The fact is you no longer have a human inside of you so kudos to you.
10.) How much unmicrowaved deli meat you ate while pregnant
11.) How much television you let your kid watch (or computers or video games)
12.) Whether you share a bed with your kids or they have their own rooms. Or their own houses.
13.) Your stance on childhood vaccination
14.) Whether your kid is a brat or hyper or not a good listener. I get it. There’s only so much you can do. They are their own annoying little people.
15.) How much junk food you give your kid
16.) Whether you spend your whole trip to the park on your cell phone
17.) If you sometimes give your kids ice cream for breakfast. I mean, it does have dairy in it so it’s kind of healthy right?
Things I WILL Judge Another Mother On:
1.) Whether you’re skinnier and/or prettier than me. I don’t care how hard you worked to look like that. That shit is just unacceptable.
This post was originally featured on Eve’s blog, That’s My Apple.