11 Things That Are On My Midlife Bucket List

I’m not going to live forever. You might be reading this and thinking “duh” but those six words are hard to type. Like many people, I don’t like to think about my own mortality. It’s funny how we’re so reluctant to think about death because nobody lives forever…unless you’re a Cullen.

The hubs and I just bought a new mattress. It’s the memory foam kind that comes with a 40 year warranty. Forty years. I’m 48. By the time I need a new mattress, I’ll be pushing 90 and most people would see that as a good run.

I’m not getting all morbid on you, people, but it occurred to me that there are things in life that I want to do that I haven’t done. Some people call it a bucket list. I’m sharing a few of those things with you here. For those of you who read regularly, my light-hearted and snarkaliscious writing will return. If you are new, trust me, I’m usually not this serious, but we all have our days.

Before I die, I would like to…

1.) Be a stay-at-home mom

I’m 48 and my twin towers of terror are 4. I hope to be able to retire in a few years and be home when they’re in elementary school.

2.) Publish a book

I started blogging in order to build readership for a book about adoption that’s sort of living in my head. One of my big dreams is for that book to be published and for people to buy it. That would be awesome sauce.

3.) Run a marathon

I’ve run several half marathons but people, there is a huge difference between 13.1 and 26.2. I always say I have one marathon in me, just to cross it off the list and then I’d happily go back to the shorter distances. The furthest I’ve ever run is 13.1 miles. Not 13.2. I need to find a nice flat springtime race and just go for it.

4.) Run a bed & breakfast

The hubs and I talk about buying property in the upper peninsula of Michigan and running a B & B up there. We’ve bought some fun things on our travels that would make for an interesting little inn.  Plus, I am surprisingly domestic and I just think that would be fun.

5.) Grow something and eat it

My domesticity doesn’t extend to gardening.  I’ve never been good with plants or had a garden. I’m not sure why I have set this as a goal, other than homegrown tomatoes taste better than grocery store tomatoes. You might ask “how hard could that be” but you haven’t seen what I did to my last petunia plant. It wasn’t pretty.

6.) Learn to dance

The booty shaking shuffle I do after a couple glasses of wine? I’m not sure if we can call that dancing. My daughter insists it’s embarrassing, which kind of makes it more fun for me, but I would like to get better at it. I’m not sure why. The look of horror on hubs’ face when I suggest going out dancing tells me it’s not a skill I would get to put in to practice often.

7.) Go someplace really exotic

If I could travel anywhere, I’d go to Easter Island, Chile or North Korea. I know, I’m weird. From a sociological perspective, I find North Korea fascinating, even though the chances of my actually ever going there are pretty skinny.

8.) Start a nonprofit

I made a business plan for a foundation that would provide grants to military families who want to adopt. Adoption is cost prohibitive for many families and I’d like to be a part of something that makes it easier for “average joes” to afford.

9.) Meet my sons’ birth mothers

I know this isn’t likely to happen but it’s something I wish for just the same. My kids are from China and their birth mothers left them at an early age. We don’t know their birth stories. We don’t know medical histories. We don’t know the answers to the questions our kids are going to have later on. If I could have any wish granted (other than wild success and eternal svelteness) it would be to meet these women.

10.) Go gray

I haven’t seen my natural hair color (except for a half inch of root that shows before I run for the box of Nice n’ Easy) since 2004. I was born blonde but I’ve worn it red since I was 19 (which was exactly a long effing time ago) but as the years have gone by, I know it’s probably mostly gray. I’d love to be one of those women with fabulous silver hair. Maybe I am…I haven’t been brave enough to take the plunge and ditch the box color.

11.) Be secure with my body

I’m not sure if this involves losing some weight and/or toning my tummy or just learning to be kinder to myself, but I’d like to get to the place where I’m not obsessively pinching an inch or looking in mirrors. I think it’s a balance between improving myself and knowing when to accept myself.

So, there you go. My bucket list is pretty simple. I’m not that complicated of a person and with the exception of meeting the birth mothers, these are things that are in my reach. Well…maybe not the tomatoes. I really do suck at gardening.

This post was originally featured on Jill’s blog, Ripped Jeans and Bifocals. Photo via