I was chatting with a friend the other night, and we decided that it feels pretty damn good being in our mid-thirties. I believe her exact words were, “Funny how it takes until your mid-thirties to stop giving a shit about what others think.” She’s right. There’s something about the mid-thirties that feels like settling in, letting go, and being in control of your life. Here are the top ten reasons why I think being in your mid-thirties is fabulous.
10 – Owning It:
The shock of turning the big 3-0 has faded away. You’ve accepted it. You’re well into your thirties. You can actually own it now. And as an added bonus, you don’t have to stress about turning 40…at least not yet.
9 – Yoga Pants and Cardigans Anyone?:
In your mid-thirties you can let go of trying to be trendy, trying to wear what the young whipper snappers are wearing. (Note to self: if you use the term “whipper snappers” like I just did, you definitely should not try and be dressing like one.) Nobody expects you to look like a college kid anymore. Forget you, Forever 21. Now you can wear what feels good. I’m not saying you should rock the mom jeans. It just means you can stop trying to hang on to cool…you can relax and embrace whatever style feels good to you.
8 – The Cycle of Friendship:
By 35 you’ve cycled through most of your major life milestones with your friends. Graduation, college, marriage, having kids, and maybe even a divorce. By now you know which friends are in it for the long haul and which friends are not. You realize you don’t need 294 friends…you only the core few who have stuck with you through thick and thin.
7 – Baby Fever Be Gone:
This one won’t apply to everybody, but for a lot of us it rings true. By your mid-thirties you’re done having kids. Your family is complete…and it feels just right. When you were in your 20’s would you ever have guessed that vasectomies would soon become a regular topic of conversation? For many, it starts to feel kind of liberating that you don’t have babies anymore. Your babies are now amazing big kids. And you can sit back and watch them go out into the world and discover it for themselves. Scary, but very fun.
6 – Piss Off, Perfection:
By now you’re a veteran parent. Which means you’ve (hopefully) passed the stage of trying to be the perfect parent. You’ve realized you can parent your way…not the way the perfect parent books and websites tell you to. You’ve been there, done that. You’ve learned to stop looking around at others and do what’s right for your family. You’re learning to trust your gut. And you’re learning to stop being so hard on yourself.
5 – Hand Me Downs Are Great…When You’re In College:
Now that you’re in your mid-thirties, you’re getting real furniture! All those Ikea pieces and hand-me-downs from your mom start to be replaced by real furniture, like from an actual furniture store! Doesn’t that feel good?
4 – Priorities Priorities Priorities:
Your priorities change in your mid-thirties. You stop needing to go out. You start to weigh whether a night out on the town is really worth finding a babysitter, paying her, and feeling hungover the next day. Maybe it is worth it every once in a while. But maybe it’s just as fun to stay home and snuggle up with your kids for a movie night…even if it means watching The Lion King for the ten thousandth time.
3 – Saying NO Without Guilt:
No. It’s such a tiny little word. But for some reason it’s so hard for most of us to say. Now you’re busier than ever. There’s just not enough time to give to your kids, your husband, your home, your friends, and yourself. So some things just have to give. Prioritizing means you don’t have to go to every school function, every girl’s weekend, every gathering you’re invited to. And you don’t have to feel bad about it. You find out saying no every now and then feels great…and you also find out that your friends will invariably understand because they’re in the same boat as you.
2 – Whoa! You Are Wonder Woman:
Do you ever stop to think about how strong you’ve become? Seriously. You’ve given birth (ouch), you’ve survived the newborn years, you’ve gone to work on not enough sleep and too much coffee, you’ve caught your kids’ barf in your bare hands, you’ve experienced the fact that moms do not get sick days, you’ve sent your kids off on the bus for the first time, you’ve been maneuvering your way through parenthood…thinking on your feet for most of it, you’ve gotten up with kids when you were dog tired, you’ve made delicious dinners out of random scraps from the pantry, you’ve coached your kids through impossible homework. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure you’ve realized by now that you’re so much stronger than you ever thought you could be. You really are Wonder Woman.
1 – These Are The Days:
I feel like these are the best days of my life. I love this quote by author Wally Lamb; “Being in your mid-thirties brought benefits, I reminded myself. You begin to appreciate tidiness, smallness, things in their place. This is the shape your life has taken.” This is the shape my life is taking. This is who I am. This is who I want to be. I’m settling into me. Take a deep breath and let that sink in. It feels fabulous.
What do you love about being in your mid-thirties?
Originally posted at Marie’s blog.